Memories of a Past Life
by SBlackzgurl62442
Summary: Sirius’ childhood love learns of his death and her life flashes before her eyes. She relives the sorrow, adventures, and joys that she experienced with him through the years.
1. The Post

Disclaimer: I own nothing having to do with Harry Potter and this goes for the whole story so that I do not have to continue to do this.

**

* * *

****The Post**

… _I regret to inform you that, Sirius, our dear and loyal friend, died this past week during a battle that took place at the London Ministry of Magic. Our friend fought bravely and I know that he would have wanted for me to be the one to inform you of this tragic news. I do not know if this letter finds you well or that you are even still alive yourself, but as always I am here for you. Do not hesitate to ask for anything at all and I will try my best to help with whatever you may need. _

_Your old friend,_

_Remus Lupin _

They say that your life flashes before your eyes in the moments before you die and now I know this to be true.

_

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__A/N: This chapter is extremely short, but not to worry much more is on the way. Think of this more as an introduction rather then a chapter._


	2. Homework & Pranks

**Homework and Pranks **

* * *

23 years earlier…

I was sitting in the Gryffindor common room, in one the best chairs beside the fire. It was late at night and I was the only one left in the common room due to the fact that I had so much homework. I had once again left it until the last moment to complete. The room around me was silent except for the crackling of the low burning fire.

It must have been well past midnight because the fire was beginning to die down to embers. A strange orange glow illuminated the room around me. Crumpled parchments of paper littered the floor around the room and there was empty ink bottles that sat upon the round wooden tables scattered around the common room. I could feel my eyelids beginning to droop and my head becoming foggy with tiredness. For being only in my first year the teachers sure did expect a lot from us.

Just when I was about to call it a night and vow to complete the rest of my homework after a few decent hours of sleep and some breakfast, the portrait hole was flung open startling me.

Two boys in my year were bursting with laughter. It was Sirius Black along with his best friend James Potter. The boys are best friends, extremely clever, and highly troublesome. They meant double trouble too because one was rarely seen without the other, they were a team.

"This is great this one, it will be talked about for years it will," James said to his friend.

Sirius having spotted me by the fire nodded his head in my direction to indicate to James that I was there and that they clearly were not alone.

I quickly looked away and back down at my work, I didn't want them to think that I was being meddlesome.

Once I heard footsteps leading up to the boy's dormitories I let out a sigh, I then began to gather up my huge pile of books and work ready to turn in for the night myself.

"So?" came the voice of Sirius Black.

I whipped around and there he stood in the exact same spot were he had been talking to James moments before. The dying fire lit up his face oddly leaving half of it in shadows.

"So? So what?" I asked.

"What are you doing down here so late?" he asked in return.

"What does it look like and besides, I should be asking you the same," I replied coolly. Others may find Sirius Black highly amusing but I on the other hand think of him as nothing more then an attention seeking prat.

"Oh we were just out for a stroll around the castle, no harm done," he was smirking as he said this.

"I find that very hard to believe Black, but I rather not know about the stupid and pointless prank that you and Potter have planned this time," I replied just as coolly as I had before to the boy standing before me. He was looking extremely sloppy with his shirt half untucked, tie undone, and robe hanging off his shoulders.

"You insult me, to say that all of the hard work that James and I go through to entertain our fellow peers such as yourself is stupid and pointless," he said in a mock tone of hurt.

"Oh please, don't be ridiculous. I know that you two only cause trouble for your own enjoyment, the entertainment for others is just an added bonus," I said.

He sighed and regretful sigh, "It's just no use, some people will never be happy no matter what you do."

"I resent that comment," I flatly stated.

"Sure you do, anyway listen just make sure that you're down in the Great Hall bright and early so that you won't miss it, we all know _you_ could use a good laugh. Well good night," he said as cheerful as ever.

"Whatever," I had no more energy to argue and I watched my classmate disappear up the boy's staircase.

By the next morning I had completely forgotten about the conversation from the night before that I had had with Sirius. I made my way down to the Great Hall early so that I would have some time to complete my homework before my morning classes began, but to my surprise I heard many laughs and voices of angry teachers.

The memory of my conversation with Sirius the night before came rushing back to me as soon as I saw the Slytherin House table floating upside down near the ceiling that was bright blue with the spring sky.

I rolled my eyes to the ceiling knowing very well who the culprits responsible for the situation were. I would never tell of course because that would be a low thing to do. Plus I did not want my own house losing points; after all we were in the lead for the house championship.

I found an empty seat at the Gryffindor table, but no sooner then I had taken my first bite of toast I was interrupted. James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew came and sat across from my seat at the table.

"So what do you think?" asked Black.

"I think that I expected something better from the way that you were going on last night," I said coolly.

Remus choked on the pumpkin juice that he had just poured into a golden goblet.

Peter looked quizzically at me as though questioning my sanity, "How can you not be impressed?"

"She may have a point Sirius mate, we can do better," James said with a smirk.

"I think it was brilliant," added Peter.

"You would because you haven't seen what we are really capable off," said Sirius responding to Pettigrew, but still keeping his eyes on me.

"And what might that be," asked Lupin looking worried.

"Yes, what might that be Black?" I asked.

"Well you'll just have to wait and see, we wouldn't want to ruin the surprise now would we?" said Sirius.

"You have nothing planned," I stated rather harshly taking even myself by surprise because the fact of the matter was that no matter how much I hated to admit it the two boys sitting in front of me almost always had something planned to cause commotion and uproar within the school or anywhere else they may go for that matter.

"Right you are, but now that you've challenged us..." he said.

"I suppose there's no point in arguing that I wasn't challenging you," I sighed.

Sirius laughed his bark like laugh, "It's about time you picked up on that fact, you simply can not argue with the best."

"Seeing as you are not the best maybe I should argue," I hissed in anger, "however I have classes to attend so this must wait until a later moment."

I stormed from the Great Hall full of anger. I then stomped up several flights of stairs to the Charms classroom completely forgetting that I hadn't completed my homework like I had planned.


	3. Invitations & Exams

**Invitations and Exams **

* * *

21 years earlier…

I had just completed my last exam of my third year. It had been most dreadful being, A History of Magic. It consisted of several time-consuming essays on a bunch of old blokes that I never remembered studying, let alone taking notes on in that useless class.

Staring out the window to my right I could see many older students who had already completed their O.W.L.'s and N.E.W.T.'s taking full advantage of the beautiful summer weather that was now upon us. I couldn't wait to be out there myself. I sat there imagining myself out there sitting with a few of my own friends, Sarah Morgan and Jessica Nunn.

However, I was shortly brought sharply back to the harsh reality of the classroom by a sharp tap on my left shoulder. It appeared that I was not the only one who had completed the exam rather early.

Sirius Black was sitting in the desk directly behind me with the smug look that he usually wore upon his face. I gave him a look of deepest loathing and once again refocused my attention to the window and the events outside. I would simply ignore my nuisance of a classmate.

I then felt another urgent tap on the shoulder, but I was determined to pay no attention to Sirius' constant pestering.

When the bell finally rang announcing the end of the exams, I quickly gathered up my bag hoisting it up onto my shoulder. I headed for the exit of the classroom as quickly as possible, but that wasn't good enough. I again felt a tapping on my shoulder.

I swung around swiftly for I was now thoroughly annoyed, now I was face to face with Sirius Black, I asked in a low dangerous voice, "Why must you pester me Black?"

"Because it is so easy my friend," he chuckled.

"You wish…" but I was cut off by James Potter.

"So what did you two think of that exam?" he asked the two of us then continued, "I think that we should move out into the hallway we're blocking the way."

Sure enough when I glanced around Sirius many students were beginning back up in the classroom.

Once we were out in the crowed hallway making our way up to the common room and I was discreetly trying to slip away from the two into the crowd of excited students, Sirius turned my way saying, "So we are having a bit of a get together out on the grounds to celebrate the end of exams, you want to join in?"

"I don't think so, I'd rather not end the school year in detention," I said.

"Suit yourself," he said and walked away with his best friend, James at his side.


	4. Mirrors & Dates

**Mirrors & Dates**

* * *

20 years before…

It was my fourth year of Transfiguration and it still hadn't gotten any easier. I sat in the second row to the front. Most of the class was having just as much trouble as I or more. Almost everyone was busy trying to change their hamsters into door knobs. I was only trying to prefect mine due to the fact that it still had little fuzzy ears that wiggled when you touched them.

I let out a huge sigh of frustration, but as soon as I did this I regretted it. The last person that I wanted to talk to at that moment turned around, Sirius Black.

"Looks like you could use some help," he stated having finished transforming his hamster into an elegant door knob.

"Thank you, but no," I responded coolly.

He shrugged and returned to his conversation with James who had also done a brilliant job in his transfiguring.

My friend Sarah was seated on my right. She leaned over and whispered to me, "He could _help_ me out any day."

I rolled my eyes and said, "I don't think that your _boyfriend _would appreciate that."

"He'd understand, I mean everyone knows Sirius Black is gorgeous," she replied looking at the back of Sirius' head with a look of longing in her eye.

I rolled my eyes once more for that was the same look that every girl in our school who had any sort of eyes gave Black these days. I myself couldn't even deny that Black was rather good looking, but it stopped about there. So he is clever too, but he is also a self-centered, arrogant, and an extremely troublesome jerk, who hung around with those just like himself.

By the time I had perfected my door knob the class was almost over. Professor McGonagall had assigned a mountain of homework and then we were out the door to lunch.

I entered the Great Hall for lunch alone because Sarah had to run back up to our dormitory to pick up her books for the next lesson. As I was walking someone knocked into me. To my disgust it was one of my least favorite people in the whole world, Severus Snape. Almost everyone in the entire school hated him, except of coarse for his fellow Dark Art obsessed Slytherins, but I think even they had their doubts about the sinister boy.

He looked at me with eyes full of hatred and with greasy hair draping around his pale pointed face and said, "Watch where you're going."

"Me? You're the one who hit me incase you didn't notice," I snapped.

He pulled out his wand and said, "Watch it because next time you'll be sorry."

I pulled out my wand as well and pointed it in his face saying, "Don't threaten me Snape."

I could see it in his hatred filled eyes, but I was ready. He began to open his mouth to curse me, but I was too quick for him. I shouted loudly, "EXPELLIARMUS," with a little to much emotion behind it. Snape flew back and landed several feet away on the ground. His wand landed even farther away and then continued to roll under the Ravenclaw table.

I hardly had any time to register what had taken place when I heard a furious voice behind me shout, "What is going on here?"

It was Professor McGonagall looking livid, "I am ashamed and from my own house. Cursing a fellow student right here in the middle of the Great Hall. What did you think you were doing? Ten points from Gryffindor and a detention."

I was just as furious about the whole situation, but for different reasons. She was being extremely unreasonable. Not caring about all the stares we were receiving, not to mention the countless cheers because everyone loved to see Snape get what he deserved, I shouted, "It was self defense Professor!"

"Did he attack you first?" she asked.

"No," I replied shortly.

"8:00 o'clock in my classroom then," she said.

It was a losing battle. I walked away, took my seat at the Gryffindor table, and slammed my wand down onto the table.

I left the common room at 7:45 that evening to ensure that I was on time to Professor McGonagall's classroom. I didn't want to have to face her fury twice in the same day.

When I entered her classroom she looked up from her desk saying, "Good you are on time." I glanced around the room and saw another occupant; I knew instantly who he was without him even turning around to look at me.

A few seconds later he then turned to face me with a smirk and winked. In return I gave him a look of loathing and proceeded to the front of the classroom. Of all people to end up in detention with it had to be him, not surprising though because he and James were so often in detention a visitor to the school would have thought that they take it as an extra lesson.

"The two of you are to clean this entire classroom," she paused then added, "without magic."

I gasped, "I expect that'll take all night, Professor."

"Then you two best get started, there is a lot of work to do as you very well see, my sixth years made a right mess of things with their canaries. I on the other hand have other business to attend to within the castle. I expect it to be spotless when I return," and with that she left the room and sealed the door behind her.

"Brilliant," I stated sarcastically.

"What? Isn't this every girls dream? Their detention to be served with several hours of nothing to do, in a locked classroom with me," he said with a confident smile.

"No, besides if you haven't noticed we do not have several free hours. This classroom is revolting," I said.

"You sure about that?" he asked.

"Yes."

"Wrong," he said. Then took out his wand and swept it through the air saying, "Scourgify," and just like that all of the yellow bird feathers and droppings disappeared as though they had never even been there in the first place.

"We aren't supposed to use magic," I yelled.

"Who's going to know?" he asked.

"McGonagall, you idiot," I shouted.

"Wrong again," he said with a bored drawl to his voice, "You see it's like this, McGonagall won't be back for hours and she won't know how quickly we finished or if we used magic to do it. Besides even if she does come back early then just be sure to blame it all on me."

Rather then agree with him because he did have a point I continued to shout, "Well what the bloody hell are we supposed to do now? Sit here and stare at the wall? And I wouldn't let you take all the blame."

He smiled and asked "What do you want to do?"

I turned away looking around the classroom in absolute furry. I had to admit the boy sure was skilled. I had never seen a classroom at Hogwarts look so clean, all of the usual dust and smudges were completely gone.

Continuing my angry manner I said coolly, "Nothing with you."

"Fine," he said, "Your loss."

Just then a third voice filled the room, "Sirius," it whispered.

To my surprise I watched Sirius pull out a pocket sized mirror from his pocket and begin speaking to it, "Hey James."

The voice from the mirror asked, "So mate do you have any company tonight or is it just you?"

Sirius turned the mirror to face me, and to my own astonishment instead of seeing my own face reflecting back at me, I saw the grinning face of James Potter.

I let out a sharp gasp of surprise. Sirius then turned the mirror back around and I heard James say, "I see, so I guess we'll talk later then."

Sirius gave a slight nod before returning the mirror once more to his pocket.

"What was that?" I asked with true amazement.

"That was just a little something James and I created so that we can talk to each other while in separate detentions because most teachers have caught on to the fact that we are less trouble apart," he sighed with a grim satisfaction to his voice.

"I would hardly say that," I sighed.

"Well you're right about that, love," he smirked.

"Love?" I questioned in disgust.

"Just an expression," he said with a smile.

"Yes I know," I grimly stated, walking over and taking a seat at a desk.

I watched as Sirius did the same taking the seat across from me. He sat down with the same grace and confidence that I had seen him display all these years and so it went, I'm not sure how many hours went by, but we sat there. Sirius would try to strike up a conversation, but I would reply too shortly to continue on the subject or tell him to "shut up."

By the time Professor McGonagall returned I was highly irritated with the total waste of time. She bid Sirius and I good night and told us to stay out of further trouble. She needn't tell me because I didn't want another night like that one to ever take place again. Honestly, me in the same room as Sirius Black for hours, it was madness.

The corridors were empty and dark. When we reached the large portrait of the fat lady she was asleep. When Sirius finally succeeded in awaking her from her slumber she was highly irritated at the pair of us.

I then began to head quickly to my dormitory when Sirius caught me by the wrist, "This was a lovely first date, don't I get a kiss goodnight?" he asked with mock hurt to his voice.

I pulled my arm away from him with deep disgust, "Ha… me go on a date with you, you must be insane and if you call detention a date then you should really check yourself into St. Mungo's," and with that I turned on my heal and climbed the stairs to my dormitory.


	5. Fights & Shocks

**Fights & Shocks**

* * *

19 years previous…

"I wouldn't dare steal your filthy notes you great slim ball! NOW GET OUT OF MY WAY," I screamed with pure hatred and rage.

"And why wouldn't you," he hissed.

"Because I wouldn't be able to read them with all the grease covering them," I yelled in his face.

"You are in no position to insult me _girl_," he laughed.

He was right. I was cornered. We were at the end of the dimly lit passage down in the dungeons and it was two against one. Everyone else had gone up to dinner, I had forgotten my potions book after class and had returned to the classroom only to find that it wasn't at all empty. Snape along with another Slytherin, Lucius Malfoy, had been in the classroom awaiting Professor Slughorn's return.

They had followed me out of the room and now were accusing me of stealing the greasy git's potions notes. Then to make matters worse Snape had pulled his wand on me and now had it pointed right in my face.

"Just curse her and be done with is Severus," came Lucius' icy tones.

"I'm savoring the moment," muttered Snape, never taking his cold eyes off of me.

The two then began to have a heated argument as to what to do to me that they didn't notice the presents of another. For once in my life I was relieved to see the smirking face of Sirius Black standing further along down the corridor.

He crept down the passageway with his wand raised and pointed at the two Slytherins. He pressed his index finger to his lips indicating for me to keep quiet.

Snape had just turned his attention back to me, now ready to strike when Sirius shouted, "Stupefy," at Snape and before Lucius could ever register what had taken place Sirius then turned his wand stunning him as well.

I sighed a great breath of relief and collapsed against the wall, "What the bloody hell are you doin' down here?" I asked.

"I don't even get a thank you?" he asked putting on a hurt expression and clutching his heart.

"Yes of course but…"

He cut me off, "Well you're just lucky that I needed to umm…_barrow_ a few ingredients from Slughorn's personal store."

I raised my eyebrows, "_Barrow_?"

He smiled and to my astonishment I returned the grin and said, "Maybe we should get going so that we wont be found here when someone else comes by."

I began to take a step forward when for the second time in my life Sirius caught me by the wrist, but somehow this time I wasn't angered by the action and he said, "I think we should take this as an opportunity to have a little fun with the situation."

"Fun? I won't snogg you if that's what you mean?" I said with the smile fading from my face because I knew Sirius Black's idea of fun either had to do with tormenting someone or snogging them and seeing as he just saved me I thought it was the later of the two.

He flashed me and evil grin before turning to look down on his victims and asking me, "Do you think pink will look good on Snivellus?"

"Pink? Uhh… sure," I said with great curiosity.

Sirius then gave a sharp wave of his wand and in a matter of seconds Snape's dark greasy hair had turned to a bright shade of pink.

I bursted into laughter, "I…I think it suits him very well," I managed to say.

"And now for his mentor," said Sirius turning to Lucius.

"I think green's his colour," I said.

"Green it is," and Sirius once again he gave a wave of his wand and Lucius' hair turned a bright lime green. I began laughing again and Sirius said, "Shall we head up to dinner then?"

I smiled and said, "Yes lets."

He had a look of relief in his eye and until that moment I hadn't realized he had been tense. I felt bad, maybe he had thought that I would lash out at him again, so I asked, "How long will the colour last?"

"Three days and trust me they won't be able to change it back on their own, seeing as there is no counter curse."

"Well I know who do come to if I ever would like to change my hair colour," I said.

He let out his familiar bark like laugh.

"You know Black you are far too clever for your own good," I said while eyeing him from the side. Why couldn't we get a long all of the time, he isn't half bad when he isn't being his arrogant self.

"You know Remus said that exact same thing to James and me yesterday."

"Well he knows what he's talking about that one," I said.

We continued up to the great hall where we lasted through a whole meal without our usual arguments. Once he had completed his meal it was a different story. He said to me, "I really must be off now."

"Where to?" I asked curiously.

I had never seen Sirius Black look uncomfortable in my entire life and I highly doubt it that many people have, "Umm… I promised someone that I would meet them at eight."

"Are you and James up to something again?" I asked suspiciously.

"Umm… no not James," he muttered not meeting my eye.

"Oh…yes, I see. It's okay; you don't want to keep her waiting now do you?" I said feeling some disappointment.

"No…so I'll see you around then?" he gave a regretful smile before turning and walking out of the hall.

I sighed, hiding my face in my hands; my head was now pounding with thoughts. It figures everyone knew that Sirius could be found frequently in empty classrooms or broom cupboards snogging with any girl that he fancied that week. He was still the same clever, self-centered, jerk that he had always been, but now that he was growing older he like many others had discovered he was gorgeous, had discovered the opposite sex, and knew that they all adored him, and in my opinion this was a very dangerous combination.

It was now Friday which meant History of Magic was first thing that morning, not a very fine subject to have first seeing as it's very dull and will put its entire occupant's right back to sleep.

I took the seat next to my friend Sarah and to Sarah's right was our friend Jessica. As soon as I had taken my seat Jessica leaned across Sarah, "So tell me why did we see _you _of all people entering the Great Hall with of all people, Sirius Black last night?" she asked.

Yes Jessica was my friend, but I had learned long ago not to say anything to her that could be taken the wrong way. She was highly popular and had a tongue for gossip.

"We were just having a nice chat about him staying the hell away from me," I put simply.

"Oh," she said rolling her eyes, "I just don't understand you sometimes, most would give anything to be with that boy," and she turned her attention back to organizing her notes as she had been doing before I had come along.

Sarah however continued to eye me then leaned in close enough so that only I could hear, "Liar," she stated with a smile.

"So…" I smile in return; Sarah was always the one who could see right through me. I knew that I would have to tell all to her later what had really happened last night down in the dungeons with Snape, Malfoy, and Sirius.

"Good morning ladies," came Sirius' voice from behind us, "Is this seat taken?" he asked indicating the one to my left.

I began to say yes, but before it could leave my mouth Sarah said, "No."

He sat down with great arrogance and said to me, "Do you think you'll need to be rescued again anytime soon?"

"Rescued?" said Jessica who been listening closely.

I ignored her and asked, "How was your date?"

"Jealous?" he asked.

"Of what?"

"I think you know."

"You're hopeless," I sighed.

"I'm free tomorrow night," he said with a wink.

"Ha, I…" but I was interrupted by the start of class.

At lunch that day I sat in between Jessica and Sarah so that there would be no available seats for a certain someone.

However that didn't stop him and the rest of his posse from taking the open seats across from us.

Remus began talking about the Defense Against the Dark Arts quiz we had just taken, which had been sprung on us surprisingly.

"Well it was nothing we couldn't handle, as usual," said James.

"Easy for you to say," said Peter.

"You're hopeless," said Sirius.

"And so are you," came the stern voice of Professor McGonagall.

They all whipped around to face her; even I jumped with surprise having not seen her standing there with her hands on her hips.

"Would you care to explain to me why Misters Malfoy and Snape each showed up to their lessons today sporting shall I say… a new look?" She asked looking enraged.

"Now whatever would give you the idea that _I_ had anything to do with it Professor?" Sirius asked with an innocent voice.

"Seeing as Malfoy claims that it was you that stunned him only moments after you stunned his friend Snape, but maybe a detention and a few points taken will help you remember the events of last night," she firmly stated.

I didn't even realize what it was that I was doing, but I quickly got to my feet saying, "That is impossible Professor," I could now feel seven pairs of eyes now turn in my direction including Professor McGonagall.

"Really how so?" she asked.

"Because…because Sirius was with me all night…studying in the common room for our potions quiz tomorrow," I lied.

She considered me for a moment before saying, "Very well, I guess you get off this time Mr. Black," and walked way.

I watched McGonagall walk swiftly away. I could feel the group starring at me in amazement and sure enough when I looked down they were all gaping openly at me. I remained standing, picked up my bag, and said, "Well have a good lunch, I just need to go and get something from my dormitory," and then turned on my heel and walked away.

I had just started to climb the main stair case when I heard someone shout, "Hey wait!"

I turned around to see Sirius racing across the entrance hall towards me, "Wait," he panted.

"Wanted to thank me?" I asked.

"Yeah right, detention is no big deal, I just wanted to say, I always knew that you didn't hate me."

I smiled; "Don't be so sure," then I turned and began walking up the staircase.

He shouted after me, "I'll see you later."

I waved my hand over my shoulder to show that I had heard him and continued on my way without once glancing back.

_A/N: I hope you enjoyed this chapter as well…I have the next chapter written, I just need to add a few things before I put it up…so until then review!_


	6. Exams

**Exams**

* * *

End of fifth year…

Sirius plopped down in the arm chair in front of my own in the common room, "Good Morning," he said cheerfully greeting me.

"If you say so," I muttered not looking up from my book.

"What's wrong _love_," he asked.

"_What's wrong_, exams start tomorrow and you are asking me _what's wrong_," I snapped now looking at him, I wasn't even going to get into the fact that he had once again called me love which he knows that I can not stand.

"Relax," he advised.

"Easy for you to say, I haven't exactly seen you strain yourself studying," I said giving him a questioning look.

He shrugged shaking his head, "Why kill myself studying when I know it all already?"

"Yes well not everyone had the same luxury as you and James," I sighed.

"You work yourself to hard, what do you say about a little break tonight?" he asked looking eager.

"Sorry," I said looking back down at my transfiguration book.

"Come on you know you want to."

"Just because I put up with you these days Black does not mean that I am going to descend to the same level as the rest of the girls in this school," I responded coolly.

"Hey you two," James came over before Sirius could say something else on the matter to me.

"Had breakfast yet?" he asked.

"Nope," said Sirius.

"You two go on, I need to study," I said.

"You have to eat," said Sirius.

"I said go on."

"Fine, you know you are so stubborn," Sirius said in a matter of fact tone.

"And you're arrogant, but you don't see me complaining," I said looking away from an astonished looking Sirius and James for the fact of the matter was that I told Sirius that he was arrogant jerk several times a day.

I was just finishing the last paragraph of my last O.W.L. exam, Defense Against the Dark Arts. It was rather rushed due to the fact that it was a gorgeous day and I would be able to spend the rest of it outside and carefree never having to worry about O.W.L.'s again in entire my life.

I quickly glanced across the aisle and up several seats to see Sirius giving James, who was four seats in front of him, two thumbs up, while leaning back on only two legs in his chair looking overconfident.

I could see Serena, a girl in mine and Sirius year in Ravenclaw, she's tall, with blond hair and blue eyes, and way too popular for her own good, and she was sitting there eyeing Sirius longingly and with hope. Maybe she had felt my eyes on the back of her head because she turned around and looked at me with a smirk and mouthed, "Mine."

I was amazed; did she honestly think that I of all people was a threat to her and her seduction of Sirius Black. I Laughed to myself and quickly responded by giving her an extremely rude jester with my hand before turning back to the exam.

I had finish just in time because as soon as I had written the last word of the answer to the question I had been working on, Professor Flitwick announced the end of the examination.

Full of relief I stood up and joined the group of my friends heading out of the hall, feeling confident that I did well on the exam.

"We have all decided to go out by the lake for a little fun time seeing as we have finished exams," said Sarah to me when I joined the group, just in front of us was Jessica chatting away with Lily Evans.

As we all sat around the waters edge I noticed that we weren't the only ones taking full advantage of the lovely summer day. I could see many students enjoying themselves now that they were free of the wearisome tests.

I closed my eyes, feeling the warm sun on my face and cool water on my feet. However, I was soon interrupted by a familiar voice shouting, "IMPEDIMENTA!" in the distance.

I turned to see Sirius and James advancing on Snape. Many students were now watching and beginning to crowd around the three. I saw James glance back in our direction then he quickly turned his attention back to Snape.

Lily who was now standing in front of me looking murderous, "When will those two cut it out," and then marched off to the point of action.

I saw Lily begin yelling at James and then I turned to Sarah, "When will she just give it up, they never listen to her and its not like Snape doesn't deserve it."

"I wish she would just hurry up and snogg James so that we can all stop hearing about how much she loathes him," sighed Sarah.

"Ha, she's so stubborn I doubt that'll happen anytime soon," I laughed.

I saw Sarah giving me a curious look so I asked, "What?"

"Oh nothing, it's just that she's not the only one that is rather stubborn," said Sarah with a smirk.

"What do you mean by that?" I inquired.

"Oh it's just-" but what it was I never found out because the next thing we saw was Lily hurrying off to the castle and James calling after her, "Evans! Hey EVANS!"

"Well I'd better go see how she is," sighed Jessica who had been closely watching the action unfold.

"Well you want to go join in with the fun?" asked Sarah indicating the group encircling Snape.

"No you go ahead," I told her before sitting back down, "I'll watch from here."

As Sarah went off to join the crowd tormenting Snape I could see that James had successfully removed Snape's pants, he then fell to the ground in laughter relieving Snape of the curse. Snape took the chance and ran away up to the castle full of embarrassment.

I watched as the crowed began to head in their separate directions after applauding both James and Sirius for their entertainment. I then once again turned my attention back to the lake. The sun was glistening on the smooth surface of the water and every so often I could see the giant squid pop up at the center of the lake.

Several minutes later I was interrupted by someone asking, "Need company?" I turned to see Sirius smiling down at me.

"I don't _need_ company, but you can join me if you'd like," I said.

"I'm so bored," he sighed sitting down next to me on the waters edge.

"You didn't look so bored a minute ago," I protested.

"It was just the same old Snivellus stuff you know how it is," he said in an off hand tone.

I bit my bottom lip and said, "Yes I do."

"What?" he asked.

"Nothing," I sighed.

"Well in that case you want to know the real reason that I came over here for?" he asked.

"I gave him a skeptical look and asked, "Do I really have a choice?"

"Nope."

"So what is it then?" I asked somewhat curious.

"Let's go to Hogsmeade," he said eagerly.

"What? Right now? But we can't."

"Why not?" he asked.

"Because Hogsmeade weekend was two weeks ago," I explained.

"So? There's a party in the common room tonight and we need to get the firewhisky."

"Firewhisky?" I questioned.

"Yeah you know…it-" but I cut him off, "Yes I know what it is don't be stupid."

"Well come on then we don't have much time," he said.

I considered him for a moment before saying, "Well how do we do this then?"

"Follow me," he said leading the way. He began heading up to the castle so I asked, "but isn't Hogsmeade the other way?"

"I have my ways," he responded.

I sighed, "Yes I know, that's what bothers me."

He lead me up to the third floor and stopped behind the statue of the one-eyed witch, he then took out his wand and tapped her saying, "Dissendium," the hump on the witch's back opened a small crack just big enough for a person to fit into.

"Hurry," he said before sliding into the small opening.

I quickly followed regretting this instantly. The ground slopped down and I fell tumbling down crashing into Sirius on the way.

We ended up tangled at the bottom of the incline, "Ow," I moaned, "That hurt are you okay? Why didn't you warn me?"

There was no answer.

"Sirius?" I asked.

"Sirius? Sirius, are you alright?" I asked with a slight panic in my voice.

"Sirius?" I pulled out my wand and lit it, only to see Sirius sting their smirking, I shouted, "You brainless git that wasn't funny!"

"Thought I was hurt did ya?" he asked.

"Yes."

"Worried?" he asked.

"Ye…No," I changed my answer in the middle.

He raised his eyebrows.

"Course I wasn't, can we just get going?" I asked changing the subject.

We walked along the dark tunnel for about fifteen minutes, we didn't say much because I was still mad at him for not responding after we fell. Lost in my thoughts I was soon interrupted by Sirius saying, "We're here."

The next thing I knew we were climbing through the floor of what looked like a basement. I looked around to examine the room. There were boxes everywhere. I saw the label of the box nearest and it read, "Acid Pops."

"Are we in Honeydukes?" I asked in awe.

"Yup," Sirius responded proudly, then added, "We should hurry."

I followed him up the staircase where he peeked through the wooden door at the top, "come on," he whispered.

We quickly slipped through and shut the door when the lady behind the counter turned around saying, "What are you two doing back here?"

"We just were looking for the Cockroach Clusters," said Sirius slyly.

"Don't be silly, there over there," she said pointing to the wall on the far right.

I turned to Sirius and said, "I told you."

The lighthearted lady smiled at us before we hurried away and slipped out the door, "Wow," I gasped, "I have never been here when it's empty of students," I said looking up and down the street, which was free of the usual Hogwarts students.

"It's usually like this you know, just the villagers," Sirius said.

He began leading in the direction away for the Three Broomsticks, "Where are we going," I asked.

"The Hog's Head."

"Why?" I asked with disgust.

"We can get anything there," he explained.

"Oh," I then glanced around, "You know I kind of like it better here when there are no students."

"I guess it's alright," he shrugged.

Soon we were entering the Hog's Head. There were several conspicuous looking figures sitting around the bar, "Can we make this fast?" I hissed at Sirius. I had noticed a dark figure in the far corner was staring at us with its red eyes.

He glanced at me and asked, "Frightened?"

"No I'd just rather return to school in one piece, if we end up dead they'll know that we had been off school grounds," at this he let out a laugh and continued up to the bar.

I followed him closely to the bar where he asked the bar tender for five bottles of Firewhisky.

"Five!" I said with amaze.

He glanced at me then said, "And two butterbeers."

The bar tender pulled out the five Firewhisky bottles and the two dusty butterbeers placing them on the counter grunting, "Eleven Sickles."

Sirius handed over the coins and then placed two bottles in each pocket of his robes then turned to me saying, "You mind carrying one?"

I hesitated before saying, "Not at all."

I took the bottle of whisky and placed it carefully in my right pocket. He then popped the top of one of the butterbeers and handed it to me saying, "It's on me."

"Good because I don't have any gold on me," I said relived.

We then walked out of the rundown pub and back down the street through the village sipping on our butterbeers and chatting about nothing in particular. We were able to carefully slip back down into the basement of Honeydukes when the owners were looking the other way and were soon back in the castle.

When we entered the common room the party was in full swing. Someone had pined up banners with sayings such as, "We're Free!" and "No More Exams!"

That's when Jessica approached us, "And where have you two been?"

There was something about the look in her eye that made me feel uneasy so I pulled out the bottle of Firewhisky that Sirius had given me to hold and waved it in her face.

"Oh," she said looking disappointed, "Is that all?"

"Sadly yes," said Sirius before he turned to me saying, "Unless you want to go and find a free broom closet?"

"You are so ridiculous, that's all you ever have on you're mind these days isn't it?" I demanded.

But before he could respond James shouted across the room, "Hey Sirius, you got the goods?"

"Well duty calls," Sirius smiled taking the bottle from out of my hand and disappeared into the crowed to join James.


	7. September

**September **

* * *

18 years before…

"How much is this eagle feather quill?" I asked holding up the beautiful quill to the smiling lady behind the counter at Stationers.

"Five sickles," she responded kindly.

"I'll be getting this as well then," I said as I put several bottles of different coloured ink and parchments on the counter.

"That'll be two galleons dear," she said, and I handed over the large gold coins.

She put my purchases into a bag and handed it to me. I then began to leave the store when a large group of people walked in just before I reached the door. It was Lucius Malfoy, Bellatrix Black, Rabastan Lastrange, and Bellatrix's sister Narcissa Black. All who were quite a few years older then I.

"Well look who we have here," sneered Malfoy blocking the door to ensure that I couldn't leave.

"My dear cousin's girlfriend," laughed Bellatrix.

"I am not anyone's girlfriend," I said.

"But didn't that idiot save you from me last year?" asked Malfoy.

"If you mean that day in the dungeon with Snape, then yes, Sirius did save me, but I would hardly say that would make Sirius my boyfriend," I responded coolly.

"Would you mind clearing the doorway dears, you're blocking the entrance," called the lady of the shop looking a bit uneasy of the confrontation taking place in her store.

"Well I must be off," I said taking the opportunity to quickly slide past the group of Dark Arts lovers because it was four against one, hardly a fair fight, I wanted very much to avoid a quarrel with them because I would surly lose.

I entered The Leaky Cauldron several minutes later, where I would be staying the night. My mum had dropped me off earlier that day giving me enough money for my stay and enough to exchange for the taxi to Kings Cross Station.

I set my stuff at one of the tables and then headed to the bar, were I greeted Tom the young innkeeper, "'ello Tom, can I please have a butterbeer."

"Mind if we join you?" came the voice of Sirius in my right ear.

I jumped nearly a foot in the air, "I'll take that as an invitation," he smirked, "Make that

two more please," he added to Tom.

I smacked him on the side of the head and he let out a yell of, "Hey what was that for?"

"Next time it will be more then a small smack," I said before turning to James, "Hello Potter."

He nodded and said, "Don't mind Sirius it's just shall I say…in his nature."

I sighed, "Sadly I know, you going to pay for those?" I turned to Sirius indicating the three butterbeers on the counter.

"Me?" he said in an outraged tone.

"Fine," I said grabbing up a bottle and flicking my share of the money onto the counter before walking away to take a seat at the table with my stuff on it, muttering loud enough for Sirius to here, "Scares me half to death, then can't even buy me a drink."

The two boys followed my lead and then took the seats opposite me at the table.

"So what are you two up to here?" I casually asked taking a sip from my bottle.

"Well my parents just dropped up off so that we can catch the train in the morning," said James.

"So you've been staying with the Potters Sirius?" I asked.

"Yup left home last month," he said proudly, "couldn't take it any longer, but I am no longer considered a Black," he finished with his bark like laugh.

"Yes, well your dear cousin did seam rather peeved about something when she spoke to me," I said with a sigh.

He slammed down his bottle of butterbeer and demanded, "Who…Bellatrix? What did she say to you?"

"Oh don't you worry it was nothing that I couldn't handle, she just wondered how her cousin, my _boyfriend_ was doing," I smirked.

James choked on his beverage not expecting this and Sirius said, "What do you mean?"

"I don't know its just the whole lot of them seem to be under the impression that I am your girlfriend just because of the whole Snape and Malfoy thing back in the fifth year," I said sounding resentful.

"Don't be mad their just sour because that is all that they have against you and they know how much it gets to you," Sirius said.

I argued, "It doesn't get to me."

"I know it does, don't it mate?" he asked James.

James replied with a smile and a nod, so I said, "I think I'm going to head up to bed," before getting up from the table.

"Sure you don't want me to join you love?" Sirius asked with a wink.

I simply rolled my eyes and walked away.

I glanced at my image in the mirror that hung in my room at the Leaky Cauldron. My hair was pulled back into a messy pony tail, I had on a pair of jeans with a tear in the left knee, and my shirt was that of a faded blue, it was rather tight on me, and short, showing a bit of my stomach, but there was nothing I could do about that, I didn't feel like changing into another, anyway I would change into my school robes on the train like usual.

Just then the door busted open and Sirius came strolling in, "Morning," he said cheerily.

"I could have been dressing," I shouted in outrage.

"I'll make sure to have better timing next time," he smiled wickedly.

"I can't believe you, you are such a…a…" I stammered.

"A what?" he asked curiously.

"I can't think of a bloody word that you deserve."

"What about clever, smart, hysterical, handsome, charming, shall I go on?" he asked.

"Only if you want me to be ill."

"You can save that for when we start classes tomorrow."

He kindly carried my trunk down the stairs for me. James was standing there waiting for us, "I got a cab just outside waiting," he said.

Once we all had climbed into the cab and the driver had loaded our trunks, we were on our way to the station.

Sirius was seated in the middle between James and me. The ride to Kings Cross was a short one. When we all had climbed out at the station a strange panic took place inside of me, "Umm… do either of you two have any muggle money to pay this bloke with?" I asked indicating the cab driver for I had forgotten to get the money my mum had given me exchanged into muggle pounds.

"No," said James.

Sirius shrugged, "No worries, I'll just give him one of these," he said taking out a large gold galleon.

I pushed his hand down out of sight, "No you can't," I hissed.

"Relax love, Mr. Potter gave us a few muggle pounds for the ride," smiled Sirius handing the notes to the thoroughly confused looking cabby.

"Well come on then," said James leading the way into the station.

We casually leaned though the barrier at the platform, careful as to not be spotted by the muggles passing by. Once we were through I turned to Sirius and James and said, "Well boys I best be off I have people to meet."

I quickly found the compartment where Sarah and Jessica were seated; they both greeted me with cheerful hellos.

We all began sharing storied of our summer. Sarah had apparently visited her cousin Mattie in New Zealand and Jessica had spent a month traveling Spain and France with her parents.

"So what about your summer," Jessica asked.

"Oh you know nothing special," I shrugged.

"Oh please I saw you arrive at the station with James Potter and Sirius Black," she said rolling her eyes.

"So?" I asked.

"Everyone knows there's something going on between you and Sirius, so why don't you just admit to it already?" she asked.

"You can believe whatever you like Jessica," and I stood up and walked out of the compartment, I needed to get away from her before things turned ugly.

I began to walk down the hallway only to run into Sirius.

"Hey," he smiled.

"Hi," I said grimly tucking a stray piece of hair behind my ear.

"What's wrong?" he asked looking concerned.

"Oh its nothing," I sighed.

"Are you sure?" he asked, "Because if someone's done something, I'll take care of them," he said pulling out his wand.

"Honestly its fine."

"To bad I was looking forward to a good fight, it's a great way to start off a school year" he shrugged.

"Excuse me can I get by?" someone behind me asked.

I turned to find myself looking at the tall, blond, Serena.

I quickly moved out of the way giving her a perfect view of Sirius, which I then regretted.

"Oh hello Sirius how was your summer?" she asked while openly looking him up and down.

"Fine," he shrugged flashing her his priceless grin. I felt myself growing annoyed, couldn't they at least wait until I had left before they started to flirt.

I cleared my throat loudly, "Well I should really get going, I'll see you later Sirius."

He didn't even look at me to reply he just said, "Yeah catch ya later," then continued his business with Serena.

I then walked back to the compartment slamming the door shut and shouted, "Stupid git."

I turned to face three extremely startled girls, it was Sarah and Jessica just as they had been when I had left them, but now Lily Evans had joined them.

"What's wrong," asked Sarah with concern.

"Nothing," I snapped then walked over and took my seat and sulked for the remainder of the trip.

The next afternoon I had arrived to the Great Hall after most had begun to head back to their lessons after lunch, I however had the rest of the afternoon off due to the fact that I had dropped several of my classes after my fifth year.

I had just begun to take a sip from my pumpkin juice when I saw Sirius walk in with a smug grin upon his face. I tried looking away to that he wouldn't see me, but it was no use. He came and sat down directly across from me.

"Don't you have lessons?" I asked.

"Don't you?" he countered.

"No."

"Okay then, lets go," he said.

"Go? Go where?" I asked taken by surprise.

"Where ever you want," he said.

"Sirius I don't know who you think I am, but I am not just someone you can fall back on when you can't find anyone else to hang around with you?" I yelled.

"What to you mean?" he asked looking confused.

"You know exactly what I mean." I said.

"No I don't."

"Oh okay then let me see, yesterday we were in the middle of a conversation and then you completely blew me off just because some idiot girl with no brains showed some interest. No Sirius, I'm not in the mood to spend anytime with you, this is what it's like to be blown off," I said and stormed away, causing what little people were left in the Great Hall to stare at me.


	8. Happenings

**Happenings **

My harsh feelings toward Sirius did not last very long, he had once again charmed me onto his good side, and things were exactly back to the way that they were. We were friends, odd sort of friends, but friends all the same. We were constantly bickering, well mostly me, yet were able to confide in one another, and he even took me along on some of his adventures with James, Remus, and Peter, though not all of them, they needed their guys only time sometimes.

"We're defiantly going to beat Ravenclaw tomorrow," stated Sirius as he piled several pieces of chicken onto his plate, it was the day before a quidditch match therefore the excitement of the pending game could be felt all around the school.

"Don't be so sure, they have a fairly decent team," I pointed out.

"But we have James," he countered with a streak of pride in his voice.

"Yes that's true, hey, speaking of James where is our star player?" I asked.

"Practice," Sirius replied simply.

"They have better win with all those practices they've been having," I said.

"Yeah I think you guys will," came the voice of Serena from behind me.

She was standing their flashing her pearly teeth at Sirius; I knew what she was up to, saying that we would beat her house, she was only trying to get on Sirius' good side by saying that.

"So Sirius what do you say to a walk out on the grounds?" she asked suggestively with a flip of her hair and twinkle in her eyes.

"You know it's rude to interrupt someone's conversation," I informed her through clenched teeth.

"Only if both the people speaking are worth anything," she said in a false sweet tone before turning back to Sirius asking, "So how about it?"

There was hardly a pause for him to think "Sorry Serena, but it just so happens that I've grown rather bored of you and the way that you treat my friends," he said offhandedly, as though he said it all the time to people.

I watched the colour drain from her face before she said in a voice quite unlike her own, "Fine," and rushed away.

I knew that I was beaming and was sure that Sirius did too, but he said nothing about it and for that I was grateful.

"So wanna go watch practice?" he asked.

"Sure," I replied with a smile.

Together we walked out to the pitch and watched the remainder of the Gryffindor team's practice and we had never seen them fly better.

It was Sunday evening the day after the match and all the Gryffindor's were feeling lazy and groggy. We had stayed up until the early hours of the morning celebrating our stunning victory over Ravenclaw; we were now favorites to win the cup again this year.

I sat in my chair next to the warm fire thinking about the match, James had scored an amazing amount of points for us and all the Gryffindors had cheered until their voices were lost. We had all stormed the field and lifted the players into the air. I had been an exciting day.

I must have drifted off to sleep while recalling what had happened because I woke up to an empty common room and a fire that was on its last legs.

The portrait of the fat lady soon swung open and in walked Sirius, when he saw me sitting there by the glowing embers his smile fell a little, "Hey what are you doing up at this time," he asked.

"Your one to talk, I would say that you were out pulling a prank, but James would be with you if you had been," I said.

He walked over and sat on the arm of my chair staring into the embers in the hearth.

"Which girl were you with this time?" I ask looking at the side of his face. He slowly turned and met my eyes as though he were trying to comprehend my question for we had reached an unspoken agreement long ago never to speak about his numerous affairs with other girls.

And then as if I hadn't even asked the question, he said, "Kiss me."

"What?" I asked taking aback.

"Kiss me," He repeated.

"No," I said with disgust.

"Afraid you might like it?" he asked with smirk.

"No," I repeated.

"Then kiss me…I dare you."

I bit my bottom lip with my teeth out of nervousness, I hardly ever passed up a dare and Sirius knew this. It was only one kiss I convinced myself.

I slowly stood up with my eyes locked on his; I leaned down to his face for he was still sitting and kissed him softly on the lips, all the while holding my breath.

When I pulled away moments later he had a huge grin on his face and he said, "I always knew that you wanted me."

I let out a growl of rage, "You tricked me Black, if I hadn't of kissed you, you would have said I was afraid to like it and when I do you say I want you."

"But you do want me," he said smugly.

I shot him a look of rage before running up the stairs to my dormitory, slamming myself onto the bed, and screaming into the pillow.

The next morning at breakfast I had no choice but to sit next to Sirius for Sarah had saved me a seat between herself and him, then she soon had to run up to the library before out first lesson leaving just me and Sirius sitting there alone together.

"So last night was fun," he said casually.

I ignored him.

"Ready for Transfiguration?" he asked.

I ignored him still.

"Hey guys," said James taking a seat in Sarah's vacated seat.

"Ready for McGonagall, shouldn't be too bad considering I'm going to win her the cup," he said proudly.

I slammed down my fork unable to take it, these idiots, both so proud and arrogant. I stood up and James turned to Sirius, "What's her problem?"

"She wants me," he said offhandedly, still busy with his breakfast.

"How do you know mate?" James asked.

"She kissed me," he explained.

I had it. I turned on my heal and retreated to the library for the remainder of the day not going to class. I didn't leave until it was closing time and Madam Pince had chased me out.

The cold, empty corridors reflected my mood. I found my way to the common room, which still contained many people. I glanced around hoping to find Sarah or Jessica and that I did. I felt my blood turn cold, the room began to spin, for in the exact same chair that I had kissed Sirius, less then twenty four hours before sat Jessica snogging with Sirius Black a mere six feet in front of me.

The three books that I had carried down form the library for my Defense essay crashed to the floor causing the room to go quiet and the two people snogging to break apart and face the interruption.

Sirius' eyes were wide with shock, mine were beginning to blur. Jessica just sat there looking between the two of us with her arms still wrapped around Sirius' neck.

Then to save myself from humiliation, as suddenly as my books had fallen, I turned and ran back out of the common room. I seemed to be doing a lot of turning, running, and stomping lately whenever it came to Sirius, but that boy made me so mad.

I ran out down several empty corridors, through several tapestries, up several flights of stairs, and into an empty classroom. Once there I fell against the wall, and buried my face in my hands.

How could I have been so stupid, what had I expected, for Sirius to only want me after that kiss, after I hadn't spoken one word to him since.

I got up and walked over to one of the windows in the classroom, pushing it open, and yelling out at the top of my lungs into the crisp night air, not caring if I awoke anyone.

When I had stopped a voice came from behind me, "Feeling better?"

I took a deep breath and turned to face Sirius before saying, "Do you honestly care?"

"Yes."

"I don't believe you," I said harshly.

"You don't have to, but I wouldn't be here if I didn't care," he returned.

"So I'm the one who's wrong hear, am I?" I asked, "Well let me tell you I'm not the one who was snogging your friends the day after we kissed, in the exact spot, now was I?"

"No, but you also haven't spoken to me either," he said and for the first time he had a touch of coolness to his voice.

"So you were trying to get back at me?" I asked with tears running down my face. I hated that he was seeing me cry.

"No," he sighed.

"Damn it Sirius I am so confused, look at in my way would you. I used to loath you, then one day we became good friends, and then somewhere along the way I realized that I didn't feel the way that a friend should, and then the next thing I know is that we are kissing and I _did_ like it," I yelled amazed at my own boldness.

And all that he did was stand their and smirk.

"It's nothing to smirk at," I yelled feeling so frustrated.

He quickly walked up to me and took my face in both of his hands and pulled me into a deep, powerful kiss, I had never before been kissed like that. My mind began to go blank, but before it could I pushed him away, out of breath I said, "Sirius we can't."

"Why not?" he asked looking disappointed.

"Because I wont be just another one of those girls that you snogg then get tired of," I explained.

"You wont, you'll be the only one," he said.

That was all I needed, I wrapped my arms around his neck and he put his around my waist, it all just felt so right. His lips pressed firmly against mine and I knew everything would turn out right in the end.


	9. Friends

**Friends **

We had decided to keep this new step in our relationship quiet for the time being for several reasons, well more for my own then Sirius'. He was all for telling the entire school about us; I however did not want to endure the teasing, questions, and jealousy quite yet.

For two weeks we acted as though nothing had changed between us with the exception of the frequent snogging sessions in empty broom cupboards, classrooms, and out on the grounds. I now knew exactly why Sirius was so popular not only was he gorgeous and clever, but an incredible kisser as well. However our secret was out before long.

It was one of those afternoons that Sirius and I had off and a majority of the students were in lessons. The ones that weren't in class were indubitably in their common rooms for it was a cool February afternoon. Sirius and I had decided to take a walk around the lake once we were warmly clothed with our cloves, scarves, and cloaks.

We would stop ever so often to kiss and finally we were so absorbed in each other that we didn't hear someone approaching our spot amongst the trees.

"I knew it," came the voice of Jessica, "This whole time you two have been lying to everyone."

Sirius and I broke apart in surprise at the sudden interruption. I stood there feeling horrified for I knew it was only a matter of minutes before Jessica would be back at the castle telling everyone she could about what she had just witnessed.

"Jessica… please," I said.

"Please what? Personally I don't see what you see in _her _Sirius, I mean she's good looking and all, but I can think of better options," she was looking at Sirius, I could tell that she was trying with all her might to ignore me after all she was supposed to be my friend.

"If you mean yourself I would never have you, after all you're living proof looks aren't everything," he said looking most dangerous.

"Well that's your problem," she said unable to think of a more superior comeback, "I guess I'll leave you two to your business," and she turned to walk away.

I began to head after her pulling out my wand but Sirius held me back.

"Oh come on," I yelled at him.

"No she's only jealous," he sighed.

"And she won't be the only one," I stated bitterly, "Might as well make an example of her so the others will leave us alone."

He let out his bark like laugh and pulled me into a hug, "What would I do without you?" he asked.

"You'd me miserable," I replied.

"That or very, very bored," he laughed.

We hung out by the lake until it was dark talking what had just happened, it really bothered me that Jessica had been my friend and that she would betray me in such a way. We headed back up to the castle to find most of the corridors empty it being past dinner; most were back in their common rooms working on the next days assignments.

When we approached the portrait of the fat lady Sirius stopped and turned to me asking, "Ready?"

I smiled "Yes, and we might as well do this the right way," and I took his hand tightly in mine giving it a squeeze to show that I was ready. As long as I had Sirius by my side nothing any one could say mattered .There was no one else I would rather be with and we should have never hidden our relationship to begin with.

When we entered the common room hand in hand, it was as I had expected. A few people, primarily boys gave Sirius two thumbs up, however girls were shooting us looks of jealousy and anger. Together we approached a table with several students that consisted of Remus, Peter, James, and Sarah who were all watching us as we approached.

Remus was the first to speak, "Good for you two," he said enthusiastically.

Followed by Peter who asked me, "Do you really like Sirius?"

"Course she does," said Sarah before turning to me and saying, "I always knew you liked him."

Then everyone turned expectantly to James whose face remained impassive, and then he said, "It's about bloody time I thought that we would all snuff it before either of you made a significant move on the other, I'm just disappointed that you didn't tell us sooner."

Sirius glanced in my direction before shrugging, "We were just waiting for the opportune moment Prongs." He then took a seat in a chair and I on his lap.

At this Sarah sighed, "Jessica shouldn't have done what she did, I have never seen her like that or anyone else for that matter."

"Why what happened?" I asked.

The others glanced around at each other before Remus said, "Well we were all sitting here and it was a lot more crowded in here at the time mind you…"

"What did she do," I said bracingly.

"Actually it was rather undignified of her, but she busted in here with her hair flying and yelled that she had just walked in on you two shagging," he finished looking slightly embarrassed.

"What?" I yelled causing many to look in our direction, "We weren't, we never… I can't believe her," I said rising from my place on Sirius' lap pulling out my wand once more. He pulled me back down, "Relax she is only upset because you have me."

"Yeah well when I get done with her she'll be more then upset," I said.

"Don't worry we took care of it?" assured James.

"Actually Sarah did," said Remus.

"You did?" I asked looking at Sarah slightly surprised.

"Yeah she was yelling that she saw the two of you getting it on so I walked up to her, told her that she should chill out, and she tried to curse me so I hit her with a hives hex. Oh and then she went running to the hospital wing, no big deal she shrugged."

"I love you Sarah," I said enthusiastically beaming at my friend.

"Uh-oh looks like you got competition mate," said James to Sirius.

"Oh shut it Potter," I said and threw a piece of crumpled parchment that had been lying on the table at him.

It hit him right on the nose and landed on the floor and the group around me erupted in laughter. At that moment nothing else mattered, just the fact that I had good friends like these that I could count. They made the ones that I couldn't count on like Jessica seem irrelevant.


	10. Secrets

**Secrets **

* * *

17 years ago…

"I've had it!" I screamed slamming my hand down on the Victorian style dressing table in my bedroom. Looking at my own reflection in the mirror I made up my mind. I then turned and began packing all my necessities into my school trunk.

An hour later I found myself on Sarah's door step as she said in a shocked voice, "You did what?"

"I left home," I stated again.

"Yes I know, buy why?" she asked.

"Oh please they wont even notice that I left, the house elf will miss me most of all. They are never home and I am absolutely sick and tired of my dad constantly telling me that I'm not good enough and me mum always being so wrapped up in her parties and trying to get me to live her life!" I said with rage, then seeing the look of surprise on Sarah's face I sighed and said, "Look, I just want to live my own sodding life and I can't do that there with them."

"Well I guess you can stay with me," she sighed.

"Don't look so thrilled," I snapped.

"I don't mind really and my parents, well we'll just tell them that your parents are vacationing in New Zealand and wont be back in time for you to start school so you couldn't go along with them…oh, and are you going to tell Sirius about all of this?" she asked.

"Why?" I inquired taken aback, "He'll only worry or most likely he'll say that I took a leaf out of his book."

The weeks of summer raced by quickly and we soon found ourselves back at school. The first few months passed by in a blur due to all the work that we were given because it was "Our last year to learn all that we could from our beloved Hogwarts."

It was a sunny November afternoon, Sirius and I found ourselves lying side by side under the beech tree by the lake.

"Have you thought about what you wanted to do after school?" I asked casually, but in truth the thought had been haunting me for months. Would we have to go are separate ways because of our changing paths or would it all work out in the end.

There was a long pause, I knew that he thinking about just how to answer the question, "Well…I guess I planed to find a flat in London to let, but I'm not entirely sure of more then that," he said, then asked, "What about you?"

I bit my bottom lip, a war was raging in my head now would be the opportune moment too tell him that I had moved out this summer and was no longer sure of anything in my life. I have yet to decide what exactly that I wanted to do with the rest of my life. After all I was only seventeen and who at the age of seventeen really knows what they want to do with the rest of their lives.

"Well," I sighed.

His eye brows creased, "What's wrong?"

I don't know why exactly I had been hiding from him the fact that I no longer lived at home, after all he himself had moved out a year before me. I knew that he would eventually find out, so I said, "It's only I moved out this summer and so I need to get a job right away so that I can move out of Sarah's."

He let out a bark like laugh, "Is that all?"

I was a little annoyed so I rolled over and propped my head up on my hand, "What do you mean is that all?"

"Just live with me," he smirked.

I didn't know if he was joking or not so I chose to think that he was and said with a smile, "Yeah sure."

He smiled back and said, "Brilliant it's settled then," and kissed me and the rest of the day was brilliant just Sirius and myself together not having to worry about anything at all.

It had been a week since Sirius had told me to live with him and I was still unable to figure out if he had been joking or not. I decided that it had to be a joke, after all moving in together was a big step.

I was lounging on my bed in the dormitory staring up at the canopy above me thinking it all over in my mind when I heard the door open and shut. It was Jessica. We had not spoken since the day that she had betrayed me the previous school year.

"Not with your boyfriend I see," she said coolly.

"What do you care?" I asked.

"You'll want to watch out or someone may try to steal him from you," she smirked.

"Really? Are you that desperate," I asked with a smile.

"I'm not talking about me you know, people have been talking," she hissed.

"When don't they? Let me know when they stop talking and then I'll be impressed, now if you'll excuse me I have more important things to be worrying about at the moment," and with that I pulled the curtains around me bed closed.

Weeks had passed since Jessica's warning and I hadn't thought twice about it. It was lunch time and I had run up to cleanup a bit in one of the bathrooms after a particularly grimy Herbology lesson.

I rinsed my face and dried it before looking into the mirror. I saw that I was no longer alone. There stood Jessica and Serena backed by several other girls all with their wands out and ready. I hadn't even heard them enter.

"What's going on?" I asked, though I had a clear idea by the looks of hatred on every one of their faces.

"I warned you that people have been talking," said Jessica.

I began to reach for my wand, but Serena pointed her own at me and said, "Keep your hands where we can see them."

"Right," I said and began to make my way past them.

"Not so fast," said Serena and two girls caught me under the arms and pinned me against the cold stone wall.

"You stole Sirius from me, now you're going to have to pay," Serena said, her voice full of wickedness.

I began to laugh, "So that is what this is about Sirius? Sirius Black? No wonder the boy has got such a big head, its crazy girls like you that have made him so full of himself."

The only Slytherin present stepped forward and I briefly wondered what Serena had offered her to be there. She was big and ugly; I stood no chance with my arms being held tightly behind me.

Suddenly the girl punched me with a great amount of force, causing me to double over in pain. The two girls holding my arms released me, allowing me to fall to my knees. Before I could recover she punched me once more, but this time in the mouth causing my lip to bleed all down my front.

"Enough," yelled Serena as the girl readied for a third blow, "All of you leave, the rest is for me to handle."

Jessica hesitated and said, "But you said that I could stay."

"I changed my mind" she screamed never taking her eyes off of me.

With that the other five girls including Jessica filed out, "Stand up," hissed Serena pointing her wand in my face.

I did so and she said, "Now maybe you've learned to keep your hands off of what is rightfully mine."

"Can't say that I have," I replied full of equal hatred.

"Stup—" she began, but I was ready, I smacked her wand out of her hand and punched her with my other right in her eye.

I dove down and picked up her wand, "Levicorpus!" I shouted.

She flew up into the air with her blond hair skimming the tile floor. I gave another flick of the wand and she was now hovering over an unflushed toilet.

"Now, Miss Perfect, who is the better fighter?" I asked and flicked the wand and she fell with a splat into the toilet.

I turned and began to walk out of the bathroom, dropping her wand into the waste bin on the way out, feeling proud of myself.

Moments later I was entering the Great Hall with a smug look upon my face worthy of Sirius and James.

"What happened?" asked Sirius as I approached.

"Why do you ask?" I replied.

"Because I don't think we have ever seen you look this arrogant before," said James, "Oh… and the bloody lip," he added.

I sat down next to Remus and said, "Well If you must know Serena is now sitting in the bathroom cover in used toilet water.

Peter spit out his pumpkin juice and choked, "What?"

"Yes, she thought that it would be funny to take me six to one so I showed her who's boss," I stated proudly.

"Damn I love you," declared Sirius.

"Speaking of love," added Remus, "Our dear old Prongs finally got his date with Evans."

"No way," I said turning to James, "Is it true?"

He shrugged, "Yep she finally agreed."

"Good job mate," said Peter.

"I think that a toast is in order," said Sirius.

"For what?" asked Remus.

Sirius raised his goblet of pumpkin juice and said, "To Prongs finally deflating his head enough to get with Evans," he said and then turning to me continued, "And for finally having someone who gave that girl Serena exactly what she deserves."

We all laughed heartily and said in union, "Cheers."


	11. Endings

**Endings**

* * *

It was a warm summer day. I sat leaning against Sirius out on the grounds. Sitting with us was Lily, James, Sarah, Remus, and Peter.

"It's strange isn't it?" asked Sarah out of no where.

"What?" I asked curiously.

"Well it's just that this is the last time we will all be sitting here together before getting on the train home," she said, "I mean think about it, no more end of the year tests, feasts, Quidditch, detentions…"she trailed off.

James added, "Well I won't miss the tests or the detentions for that matter, but I have to say I will miss those house elves cooking and beating Slytherin in a good game of Quidditch, even old Fitch has grown on me a bit."

"I know, it will be odd come September first not having to get on the train at eleven o'clock sharp," sighed Remus.

"Do you think we will ever all be together like this again?" asked Peter.

"Of course we will you git, we're not all going to stop being friends just because we leave school," responded Sirius.

"It will be a bit of a change not seeing you guys everyday though," added Lily.

"Are you going to miss me?" asked Sirius.

"Ha you wish," she laughed.

Soon after that Lily and James went off for one last walk around the lake as Hogwarts students and Sarah, Remus, and Peter headed up to the castle to finish packing. This left Sirius and me alone.

"So this is really it huh?" I asked.

"Yep," he sighed, "Time for reality."

"Do you really think that things are going to stay the same?" I asked.

"You mean you and me together?" he inquired.

"Well yes that and you know about us all still being good friends like Peter said."

"Peter's a git, of course things will be the same we've been friends for seven years," he tilted his head and then added, "Well sort of you and I did have a bit of a difficult start."

I laughed, "I suppose you're right, I'm just a bit afraid of change that's all," I said trying to convince myself that it would all turn out alright in the end.

"Nearly time for the end of the year feast, do you want to start heading back up?" he asked clearly trying to get my mind off of my worries.

"Sure," I said and put my hand in his allowing him to pull me to my feet.

We left that year with a bang; we had won the Quidditch Cup and the house cup, received a record high in detentions, and scored lots of "O's" in our N.E.W.T.'s. We had made our mark upon Hogwarts and it was now time for that part of our lives to come to an end and a new one to begin whether we were ready for it of not.


	12. A New Beginning

**A New Beginning **

* * *

A week had now passed since that last day that I spent with my friends at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. We made the most of our time together on the train home laughing and remembering all the time that we shared together. There were tearful goodbyes said on the platform and promises to write and see each other soon.

Now however, I slammed down my copy of the daily prophet on the table, "I just can't find anything and I need to so that I can get a place of my own," I told Sarah with frustration.

"I told you that you can stay as long as you need, my parents are in Australia for the next two months on 'ministry business,'" she said with in an offhand tone.

"Yes I know," I said, "But still."

"So have you heard from Sirius yet?" she asked.

"No," I said bitterly.

"Don't worry he'll write you soon, he's just busy, after all he is in the same situation as you are," she said consolingly.

"Yeah, if he were he would have time to write," I argued.

"He's busy," she stated.

"Sure he is," I said.

Looking aghast she said, "Look the guy adores you, he wouldn't just go off and forget about you."

I was unable to hold back a smile, "I know, but still."

Two more days slowly crept by when one afternoon while Sarah and I sat in the living room listening to the wireless while playing a game of wizard chess, green fire suddenly erupted out of the hearth and there stood Sirius looking as striking as ever. He was wearing new jeans, a black t-shirt, a black dragon skin jacket, and his hair fell perfectly into place. If one had just walked into the room they would have never suspected that he had used the Floo Network to arrive.

"Sirius!" I yelled out.

"Hello love," he grinned.

"Hello love, hello love, don't give me that I haven't heard from you in more then a week and that's all you've got to say," I demanded.

He let out his memorable laugh and said, "James said you would be mad."

"And he's right," I said.

"Well will this make you feel better?" he asked and then waved his wand making a dozen red roses appear in his hands with purple and blue butterflies fluttering around them.

"You think that you can make this all better with roses?" I asked.

"Yes," he grinned.

"Well you're right," I said and threw my arms around him.

"I'll just leave you two to talk," said Sarah as she began climbing up the stairs to the second floor of the house.

Turning my attention back to Sirius I demanded, "What have you been doing that was so important that you couldn't at least write to me?"

"I've been looking for our flat of course," he responded as though it were common knowledge.

"Oh…wait what?" I asked with surprise.

"I got us a flat," he stated with a smile.

"_Us?_" I questioned.

"Yes us," he said.

"But I can't move in with you," I said.

His smile fell slightly but he said, "Why not, besides you already agreed to it remember?"

I gaped at him, "I thought you were joking and besides I don't have any money to pay for my share of the rent."

"Money is no issue love; my Uncle Alphard left me quite a bit of gold."

"That explains the new clothes," I said.

"Do you like them?" he asked

"Yes they're lovely, but…"

He ran his hand through his hair and said, "Look it will be fun you and me, at least you won't have to worry about me writing you, we will see each other all the time."

I bit my lip and saw that there was no way out of this after all I needed a place, it would cost nothing, and I was in love with the person that I would be living with so I said, "Fine, but we sleep in separate rooms."

Two hours later we were standing in the hallway in front of the door that apparently led to our flat. On the door was the number seven. Sirius had just finished unlocking the door and placed both of his hands over my eyes.

"Oh come on, can't I see?" I asked.

"In a minute," he said and he began to lead me in all the while keeping his hands firmly over my eyes. Once we had stopped he asked, "Are you ready?"

"Of course I am," I said excitedly.

"Okay then," and with that he removed his hands from my eyes revealing a fully furnished sitting room with a fireplace, couch, coffee table and to my right was the kitchen with everything that a kitchen needed.

"Well?" he asked.

"Sirius this is amazing, how ever did you manage all of this?" I asked truly amazed at how skillfully the room before me had been decorated.

He let out his bark like laugh, "I had some help from Lily and James, plus I am one of the cleverest wizards you know."

I rolled my eyes, "Oh yes, how could I possibly forget that small fact."

"Now would you like to see your room," he asked.

I turned to him with even more amazement, "You fixed that too?"

"Of course," was all that he said.

He led me to the door to the left of the sitting room and opened it for me. As I entered all I could say was, "Wow."

The room was clearly bewitched to triple the normal room size and it was done entirely in the colours of powder blue and white. There was a king size bed with a canopy, an elaborate dressing table, writing desk, wardrobe, my own bathroom, and a large window that overlooked the park. Hanging on the walls were framed photos of me with my friends. It was all so lovely.

"So I guess you like it then," said Sirius.

"Like it, Sirius this is incredible," I turned and wrapped my arms around his neck and said suggestively, "Can I see your room?"

He grabbed me by the hand and led me to his room on the other side of the flat. His room was the same as mine but done in scarlet and dark wood.

Once I had looked at it I turned to him pushing him onto the bed. I put a leg on either side of him and began kissing his neck. He let out a slight moan and said, "You know I made dinner reservations."

I stopped, shrugged and said, "Fine let's go then."

He responded back by saying, "I just thought I would mention it, I can always make more for tomorrow."

I could feel the warm summer's sun pouring in the bedroom window onto my face. I blinked my eyes open to an unfamiliar room. Taking a moment to realize what I was doing there and why it felt so right. Then I realized and rolled over to find Sirius lying

next to me waiting for me to awake.

"Morning," I smiled.

He smiled in return and said, "So much for sleeping in separate rooms."

I grinned mischievously back at him.

"You hungry?" he asked.

"Yes, after all we did skip dinner last night," I laughed.

"Good because I already made breakfast," he replied while getting up. He walked out of the door and minutes later he returned with a tray of food with eggs, toast, and sausage in each of his hands.

"Since when do you cook?" I curiously asked.

"Ha…cook, who needs to know how to cook when they've got a wand," he boasted.

Rolling my eyes I muttered, "Right how could I possibly forget?"

After we had finished eating, Sirius told me to go get dressed because he had one last thing to show me. What it could possibly be I had no idea.

Fifteen minutes later I was standing in front of a brand new motorcycle.

"You bought this?" I asked with astonishment.

"Yup," he said.

"But do you even know how to ride?" I asked doubtfully.

"Of course I do, what do think I have been doing all week, do you want to go for a ride or not?" he asked.

I thought for a moment, why couldn't I just have a normal wizard guy who likes to ride broomsticks, before I said, "I'd love to."

We rode out to the countryside where we spent the day lost in our own world. When it grew dark we climbed back onto the motorcycle and Sirius asked, "Ready for the best part?"

"There's more?" I asked.

"Hold on tight," he said.

Nervously I asked, "Why?"

"You'll see," was all that he said.

So I wrapped my arms tightly around his waist and as soon as I had he started up the bike and pushed a button on the handlebars. Slowly we began to rise into the air.

"Sirius," I gasped, "We're flying."

He let out a laugh, "Isn't it great?" he asked.

I also let out a laugh and shouted into the night air, "It's bloody brilliant."

And together we flew off into the starry summer night with the beautiful lights of the cities and towns below us. Our thoughts were of each other and how it felt so great to be together. We had something that neither of us had ever experienced before.

_

* * *

A/N: Well there you go another chapter, hope you enjoy it._ _Let me know what you think..._


	13. Cheers & Tears

**Cheers & Tears**

* * *

16 years prior…

I rolled over that morning to find myself alone in the bed. It was still early; the sun hadn't even risen yet. I pulled off the blankets that covered me to the morning chill, then quickly put on my dressing gown and found my way into the kitchen. Sirius was sitting there alone hovered over the paper with a look that I rarely saw on his face. It was a look of worry.

I walked over putting my hand on his shoulder as I did so I unintentionally startled him, "What's the matter love?" I asked.

"More disturbing reports, several muggles were found dead in an alley near the ministry and not too far away were some ministry officials, but they're not saying who yet," he sighed while pulling me onto his lap.

"It is all so awful," I said feeling fear run through me with a chill.

"Yes," was all that he said looking as though he were still deep in thought, then he added, "James wants us to meet him and Lily for lunch, he says it's important."

"What do you think it's about?" I asked with the concern noticeable in my voice.

Sirius smiled and said, "Don't worry, James didn't sound like it was anything to worry about when I talked to him…actually he seemed a bit cheerful come to think of it."

So later that day Sirius and I walked into a small muggle Italian, restaurant in the heart of London. James had told Sirius that he chose the location to make sure that no prying wizard ears would over hear their conversation.

As soon as we entered Lily and James immediately waved us over to their table located at the back of the restaurant.

Together we sat down across from our friends at the table. After the young dark haired waitress had taken our order I could tell that the couple that sat before us was ready to burst with excitement, "So what's all this about?" asked Sirius clearly he was as anxious as I to hear what the couple wanted to tell us.

James glanced at Lily and she nodded, he turned back to us pausing a moment before saying, "We're getting married."

"No really?" I said excitedly.

"Yes we are," laughed Lily.

Sirius let out his laugh and said, "Congratulations, I can't believe this my best mates are getting married."

"This is brilliant," I said enthusiastically.

Lily added, "And of course you two will be the best man and maid of honnour."

"Anything for you two," I said.

"So when are you planning for this whole thing to go down?" asked Sirius.

"We were thinking the seventh," said James.

"The seventh of what?" I asked.

"October," smiled Lily.

Sirius chocked on his muggle beer, "But that's in two weeks," he exclaimed.

At this James and Lily both became grim. James leaned in closer and we all followed his lead, "You've read the papers, just this morning muggles and ministry officials being killed," he whispered, "Might as well do it while we can right?"

I bit my bottom lip and said, "And you two are sure about this? I mean two weeks isn't a lot of time."

"Mark my words we wont be the only ones rushing this kind of thing, I have a feeling that things are going to get a lot worst before they get better," said James.

Sirius gave a grim smile and nodded before saying in a cheerful voice, "Enough of these dismal matters, my best mate is getting married," he then raised his drink in the air and said, "To Lily and James my best friends in the whole world and most of all to Lily for always keeping this arrogant prat in line…or at least trying to."

We all snickered and said, "Cheers."

We spent the next hour toasting each other and forgetting about the constant threats of the outside world. We had a reason to celebrate and we were not about to pass that up.

The next morning I was awoken abruptly by Sirius shaking me awake, "Get up love," he said in and urgent tone, I quickly sat up and asked, "What's wrong?"

He had a look of sadness on his face, "When was the last time you talked to Sarah?"

"I had lunch with her the day before yesterday, remember? Why?" I asked feeling a strange panic rise inside of me.

"Those two ministry officials killed were her parents," he said.

"No, that can't be right," I said jumping out of bed, "You must be mistaken."

He handed me the paper shaking his head as I read the article tears began to well up in my eyes, I threw it down, and Sirius wrapped his arms around me. After several moments I pulled away, "I have to go see Sarah," I said while wiping my tears away.

"We'll both go," he stated firmly.

Quickly I put on some sweat pants and a t-shirt and Sirius and I both apparated into Sarah's living room.

The house had an eerie silence about it. It was nothing like the house that I had spent my summers at with Sarah and her parents. All of the curtains were drawn shut, leaving the house in darkness, and items were thrown about the floor. Sirius and I glanced at each other before he began to move toward the dinning room. The table was scattered with papers and photographs. Sirius held up a photo in his hand, three smiling faces were looking back at me. It was Sarah with her arms around each of her parents the day before our last year of school. I knew because I had taken the photo just before leaving to catch the train.

I bit my bottom lip holding back more tears and nodded in the direction of the stairs. I led the way up with Sirius right behind me.

The house seemed deserted except for a sniffle coming from the bed room at the end of the hallway. Once we reached the room I stood there in the doorway seeing my trembling friend face down on the bed, "Sarah," I said.

I walked over to the bed and sitting next to her I put my hand lightly on her shoulder. No sooner then I had then she jumped up and wrapped her arms around me crying on my shoulder.

We sat there a long time together, me patting her back saying, "It was going to be alright, you cry as long as you want," but in truth I was scared myself, for the first time this war hit somebody that I loved making it much more real.

That night Sirius and I brought Sarah to stay with us. She had tried to argue that she would be fine, but I firmly said, "You are not staying in that house all alone in the state that you are in, it will do you some good to get away from there," In the end she had no choice but to come along with us.

Once Sarah had gone to bed in my room I walked across to the other room that I shared with Sirius. He was on the bed reading a quidditch magazine with the Wimbourne Wasps' Ludo Bagman on the cover. When I walked in he put it aside and asked with concern, "Is Sarah alright?"

"She asleep," I sighed and sat down on the bed beside him.

"Are you alright?" he asked with the same concern.

I nodded, "It's just so unfair, we're young, just out of Hogwarts…we are all supposed to be worried about stupid things like what to wear tomorrow not if we will ever see are loved ones again or if we are going to be murdered on the way home from lunch with our friends."

"I agree," he said, "No one should have to go through what some people have been, but look we have to keep on living, look at Lily and James some good is coming from this mess."

I lied down next to him and asked, "When did you become so wise?"

"I've always been wise it's just that you've been unwilling to admit it," he stated matter-of-factly.

"You're such a git," I replied.

"But you love me," he boasted.

"As far as you know," I smiled before giving him a kiss on the cheek and rolling over to go to sleep.

Two days later we found ourselves standing amongst ministry officials, friends, and acquaintances, all who came to pay there respects to Sarah's parents. Sirius stood holding my hand and my other was held by Sarah who had Remus' comforting arm around her, and Lily, James, and Peter stood beside him. We were all united once again, but not in celebration or for joyful times that we would look back at with a laugh, this time it was to say good-bye to a brilliant witch and wizard.

As the service ended people approached the tombs with there final good-byes and slowly they trickled away until the only one left standing there were Sirius, Sarah, Remus, Lily, James, Peter, and myself.

No one knew exactly what to say, but to everyone's surprise it was Sarah who spoke, "Well let's get out of here," she said with a tear streaked face and no one had the heart to argue with her.

Somehow we all ended up back and mine and Sirius' flat and together we talked until the early hours of the morning about what was going on in our busy lives, well with the exception of Sirius and myself, we had yet to find jobs, not that we were trying much. Then eventually we started to talk about the quickly approaching wedding.

* * *

_A/N: Well its summer and this means that I have lots of time to write well I hope to anyway so leave me your thoughts because i need something to read and make my day!thanks for your support it means a lot..._


	14. Fairytales

**Fairytales**

**

* * *

**

James and Lily's wedding had been absolutely perfect. It had taken place outdoors and was just the event to take everyone's minds off of the dismal events that were going on in the world, especially Sarah who would be leaving at the end of the week to stay for a while with her cousin in New Zealand.

It was now nearing one in the morning and many of the guests had already departed. As for the ones that were still hanging around chatting lazily with their friends while sipping their drinks, a low tune was being played.

Sirius and I had snuck away after Lily and James had departed and we were now sitting far off on a bench on the edge of a grove of trees.

From where we were seated we could just hear the soothing notes of the melody being played in the distance. The whole scene looked as though it were something from out of a fairytale. We could see tiny fairies flying around that had lit up the pathways in the garden and a nearby there was an exquisite fountain.

Sirius placed his arm around me pulling me close and whispered in my ear, "You want to dance?"

I smiled at him and nodded. He stood up and pulled me to my feet. He then took my right hand in his and put his other around my waist. He then spun me and I let out a joyous laugh. Then I placed both of my arms around his neck and rested my forehead against his and said, "This has all been so perfect."

He smiled down at me before kissing me and saying, "You're perfect."

* * *

_A/N: Really short I know, but it just didn't fit with what is coming up…let's just say that there's going to be a little trouble in paradise._


	15. Helpless

**Helpless **

About one month after Lily and James' wedding I stood in the middle of the living room having a heated argument with Sirius. He was on one side of the room while I was on the other.

My face was flushed with rage, "Do you honestly think that I am just going to sit around here while everyone else is off doing there part to stop Voldemort? Because if you do you are extremely mistaken Black!"

He flinched at my use of his last name, "I'm only trying to protect you love," he tried to reason with me.

"Protect me how exactly? No one is safe!" I yelled.

He sighed and ran his hand through his hair, "I know, but as of right now we have no knowledge that Voldemort has any interest in you like he does with me, Lily, and James and frankly I'd like to keep it that way. Besides, Dumbledore says it's best that you just lie low."

"Well that makes me feel good I'm not even important enough for Voldemort to waste time on, but you all are," I said annoyed.

Sirius frowned, "Don't say that."

"Well isn't it a bit obvious that he does have an interest in me, after all you and I are in a relationship and if he gets a hold of me then he has the key to you," I argued.

"That's were you're wrong," Sirius smirked.

"How so?" I demanded, now fully confused, "My logic makes perfect sense."

He smiled, "Your logic would make perfect sense except for the fact that we are dealing with…well…_you_."

"WHAT?" I shouted, "That makes no sense."

"You see apparently Voldemort has been receiving very mixed reports, his death eaters who had left Hogwarts before you and I got together insist that you and I hate each other and the few that do know of us think that you're just another one of my flings that mean absolutely nothing to me what so ever," he smirked.

I frowned, "So basically all of our teenage school drama has followed us for the better?"

"Basically," he shrugged.

"How does Dumbledore know all of this anyway?" I asked.

"He has spies and he is Dumbledore after all," said Sirius.

I sat down on the couch and buried my face in my hands. I now had a throbbing headache from the whole situation. Sirius came over and sat down next to me placing his arm around my shoulders.

"I just feel so helpless sitting here doing nothing," I said into my hands.

"I wouldn't call what you do nothing," he said.

I looked up at him questioningly.

He grinned and said, "You do help to umm… distract me from all the stress of this whole Voldemort business."

"So my part in this fight is to keep you happy in bed so that you can do your part better?" I asked scandalized.

He nodded, "Precisely."

"What if I just decide to sleep in my own room, I do have one you know," I pointed out.

"You wouldn't dare," he said in false shock.

My eyes flashed, "Wouldn't I?"

"Nope because what without your part I will become so overwhelmed that I won't be able to do my part and Voldemort will never me vanquished."

I rolled my eyes, "You know sometimes I wonder how I ever ended up with a git like you."

He grinned, "Like all girls you just couldn't resist my charm."

I simply shrugged causing a look of concern to pass over Sirius face and him to ask, "Look are we okay?"

I nodded and then smiled, "Go do what you have to do and when you get home tonight I'll do my part in this war."

He let out his bark like laugh, "I'll be looking forward to it."

Then I said seriously, "Just come home to me alright."

It was now two in the morning and I was lounging on the couch reading about the new winter styles in dress robes. Sirius should be back at any moment from whatever it was that Dumbledore was having him do. Just as I glanced at the clock reading 2:05 A.M. there was a loud pop and Sirius appeared in front of me.

"You still up?" he said with mild surprise.

"Of course I am, you can't expect me to sleep when you're out fighting evil," I replied.

"Well when you put it that way," he grinned.

Just then we both jumped as there was another loud pop and James appeared.

"Prongs! What are you doing here at the time?" asked Sirius with surprise.

"I wanted to tell you, we only just found out tonight, and I had to wait till you came back so that I could tell the two of you together, Lily's pregnant!" he shouted with excitement.

I gasped, "WHAT?"

"We're having a baby," he said as though he himself couldn't believe it.

"Already?" I asked.

"Ha!" said Sirius turning to me, "I told you they would sooner rather then later," then he turned to James and slapped him on the back and said, "Well done mate, you've been busy."

James rolled his eyes and said, "Padfoot mate, when will you stop being so concerned with my sex life and start worrying about your own."

"For your information Prongs mine is just fine," said Sirius defensively.

"If you don't stop talking its going to be nonexistent," I threatened.

"Ouch," said James, "Well I better leave before I get you into more trouble mate," said James then he added, "See you at the meeting tomorrow," and with that he apparated away.

"Meeting tomorrow?" I asked turning to Sirius.

He frowned, "Yeah, it's a big one too."

"Can't tell me more can you?" I asked.

"Sorry love you know that I would," he said apologetically.

"Yes I know, I just hate being left out," I sighed, "Oh well, I guess it can't be helped, its late and I'm tired all I want to do is go to sleep," and with that I turned and walked into our room followed by Sirius.

_A/N: Thank you for the reviews last time, I was really hoping to get this chapter up sooner, but things just didn't work out that way. Hope you enjoy and let me know what you think Thanks..._


	16. Adventures

**Adventures

* * *

**

Sirius and I were sitting at the dinner table eating a pizza he had picked up from the place down the street.

"I got a letter from Sarah today," I said.

"How is she?" he asked.

I shrugged and said, "She isn't coming back."

A look of concern passed over his face, "What? Why not?"

"She said 'things are less complicated down there' or something," bitterly stated.

Sirius shook his head, "What a load of rubbish, she's supposed to be a Gryffindor, what is she doing running away from her problems?"

"I don't think that's really the reason she's staying though," I replied.

"You don't?" he asked curiously.

"Nope, I think it's because she's met somebody," I said while rolling my eyes.

"Are you sure?" Sirius asked, "How do you know?"

"Yes I'm sure because she mentions some guy she goes on adventures with in all of her letters," I said unable to keep the annoyance out of my voice because the truth was I was jealous that my guy never took me on adventures anymore. So I decided to turn the conversation around, "Why do you care so much that Sarah's met someone anyway?"

"Oh, it's just that Moony is going to be crushed, I think that he always held onto some hope that he and Sarah would get back together," Sirius explained.

"That is ridiculous, after all he was the one that broke up with her," I said.

"Yes, but he still adores the girl," Sirius stated matter-of-factly.

"True," I agreed.

"Anyway why do you sound so annoyed?" Sirius asked with a smirk.

"It's nothing," I snapped not having expected him to notice that I was annoyed with him.

Sirius raised his eyebrows and said, "Right. Nothing."

"Look can we just go out tomorrow night and do something exciting?" I asked.

He was silent.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"I have to-," but I cut him off, "Let me guess, you have to do something for the bloody Order."

He nodded grimly.

"Take me with you?" I eagerly whispered.

"What?" he asked.

"Take me with you," I repeated.

"You know that I can't," he argued.

I rolled my eyes, "What happened to the man that I love, the one that always said, 'the risk is what makes it fun?'" It was at those words I saw his eyes alight with his passion for adventure and risk taking that I knew he would give in.

"Please," I added just for the effect.

A huge grin overtook his face and he said, "Alright."

I let out a laugh of delight and rushed over to him throwing my arms around him.

"But you have to listen to everything that I tell you to do," he firmly stated.

I sighed and said, "Oh aright if I must."

Sirius had left early the next morning making me promise to be ready to leave when he returned in the evening. He wouldn't say much about where he was going just that he would be back to pick me up later.

I had been ready for hours waiting for Sirius to come back. I kept getting up and sitting down unable to find something to do to pass the time until he arrived.

I found myself standing in front of the full length mirror that was in my bedroom. I was pleased with the look that I had come up with.

Sirius had said to, "Dress as through I were ready to commit dark deeds."

I had laughed and told him that I thought we were going on Order business not bringing to life his kinky fantasies. He only smirked and said that that would happen after we were done; the dark look was because of the location. Apparently he wanted me to blend into the rest of the crowd that was going to be there.

I flattened out the short black skirt that I had on with a sigh. I wish Sirius would hurry up. I had attempted to dress darkly, but was unsure exactly where we were going and what would be the appropriate dark attire. After all there is a big difference between an evil wizard's ball and an evil wizard's night out on the town.

I had also put on a black corset style top, my black boots with the tops that came just below my knees. I also had on my black robes which I left open so that my outfit could be seen. I was most pleased with the way that my makeup had turned out. I had done a smoky effect on my eyes and wore a dark crimson lipstick. I had tied my hair into a ponytail incase something dangerous did happen my hair wouldn't get in my way. I glanced at the clock on the wall, it was nearly nine.

I walked back into the sitting room to find Sirius lying on the couch with his eyes closed and hands behind his head.

I loudly cleared my throat.

He opened one eye and said, "About time you're ready."

"Me? I have been ready and waiting for you for three hours now," I said.

He sat up and looked at me as though it were for the first time, "And if I would have known you looked this good I would have told Dumbledore to get lost and came home right away."

I blushed, "Thanks."

"Well, let's get going so that we can hurry up and get back, I don't know how long I can control myself," he smirked.

"Shut it, we have business to attend to so you better control yourself."

"Best be off then we got a long walk ahead of us," he said looking sorry that we couldn't just stay at home.

"Why can't we just apparate there?" I asked.

"To many protections from good people like us," he said.

"What kind of place is this?" I questioned.

"You'll see you wouldn't want me ruining the mysterious part of this little adventure that you wanted so badly."

"Fine, let's just go then," I said with annoyance.

An hour later we were still walking, "Sirius are we almost there," I whined having stopped paying attention to where we were heading a long time ago.

"Nearly there love, I told you it was a long walk," he said.

"Which was an understatement," I grumbled.

He took my hand in his, "Do you want me to carry you?" he asked.

"No, I still have my pride to uphold you know," I said.

He laughed, "Really-" but before he could finish he stopped and said, "We're here."

It was now my turn to laugh, "Sirius we're in the middle of an alley."

He sighed and pointed farther along. There at the end of the alley was a door, "Oh," was all I said because I was now feeling completely stupid.

"Ready?" he asked.

I bit my lip and nodded. He put his arm around my shoulder and leaned over whispering in my ear, "Don't worry it will be fun."

As we walked through the door I took in the room before me. It was a pub, but unlike one that I had ever been in before. It was dimly lit, the walls were painted black, and all of the people were definitely not the sort that I hung around with.

Sirius led me over to a booth in the corner and we took a seat.

"Now what?" I asked.

"We wait," he said.

"Wait? Wait for what?" I asked.

"You'll know as soon as you see it," was all that he said.

And so we waited. I could tell from the look on Sirius' face that he was taking it all in and then it happened, the door opened and in walked Bellatrix and Rodolphus Lestrange. They took a seat at the table in the corner by the door. They too looked as though they were waiting for someone.

No more then five minutes later in walked Lucius Malfoy followed by Severus Snape. At Snape's appearance I felt Sirius tense beside me and saw his fists ball up on the table in front of him. I placed my hand over one of his and felt him ease slightly.

We sat in silence as the two joined the Lestranges. The group of four began to talk, but glanced at the door every so often as though waiting for someone else. Then the door opened again and I gasped, "Is that-?"

"Regulus. Yes." Growled Sirius with narrowed eyes, but I could tell he was just as surprised as I, he had clearly not anticipated his brother being there.

Sirius muttered, "I need to find a way to get near so that I can hear what they are saying."

I have him a sideways look and said, "No worries love isn't that why you brought me along."

He looked at me questioning so I sighed, "Obviously they will recognize you instantly, so I'll go. Look at them, I got a feeling they are just absorbed enough to not recognize me," and with that I stood up and before Sirius could stop me I had crossed the room and taken the seat at the table next to theirs with my back facing them.

I could hear almost every word that they were saying and still see Sirius sitting in the corner that I had left him in with a look of admiration on his face.

Snape was speaking in his icy tones, "You should be glade of our invitation to you to come here tonight Regulus."

"Yes," said Lucius, "You see the Dark Lord is not to happy with what happened the other night."

"We have only decided to warn you because you are family Regulus, you're mother would be crushed if her prized son, well, lets just say that I respect my aunt enough to do this," said Bellatrix, "and everyone else here knows you loath that good for nothing Sirius as much as they and for that they respect you, but you must be aware that the Dark Lord will not tolerate anymore trouble from you cousin."

That was the end of any significant conversation because they began to laugh and discuss the latest muggle torturing and killings. I listened for ten more minutes before deciding that nothing more of significance would be said and got up to rejoin Sirius.

I reached him and asked, "Is there a back way out of here, I think they are going to be here a while."

We were able to apparate back home where I told Sirius everything that I had heard, "So my dear brother _has _joined the death eaters," he said, then let out a bark like laugh, "Can't say that I'm surprised though, always knew that he was to weak not to fall into all that darkness we were raised around, bet my dear mother is very proud of her baby boy."

"Yes, but apparently he's not making a good Death Eater by the sounds of it," I added.

Sirius more to himself then to me, "Not even a good Death Eater. Wonder what that's all about?"

I stood up and went to get us both butterbeers from the kitchen. As I walked back towards the couch both James and a very pregnant Lily apparated before me causing me to jump back in surprise and shout, "BLOODY HELL!"

Both of them looked at me and apologized and then they both seemed to take in my appearance and at the same time said, "Bloody hell you look…"

"Hot," Sirius finished.

I blushed at having them all looking at me and tried to change the subject, "What are you two doing here at this time anyway?" I asked.

"What can't two old friends just drop in on their mates anymore?" asked James looking hurt.

I gave him a piercing look and he sighed, "Fine if you must know we came to speak with Sirius."

"Oh right, more Order business I suppose, bet you only came so late because you expected me to be asleep right? Fine," I was so furious.

Lily looked shocked at my outburst and tried to speak, "Look…" but James cut her off and said, to me rather then Sirius, "Dumbledore just asked us to tell Sirius that he wants to know what he's found out at tomorrows meeting that he just scheduled."

"Does he?" I asked, "I suppose you would like to hear the details of what happened tonight now though wouldn't you? Well go ahead tell them Sirius and make sure that you don't leave out the part about me coming up with how to listen to the lot of those Death Eaters."

"WHAT?!" said Lily and James together.

"You took her with you!" shouted Lily at Sirius.

"Yes," said Sirius.

Lily looked astonished, "This is not good Sirius, Dumbledore is going to be furious."

Sirius said, "Dumbledore doesn't have to know and besides if I hadn't brought her along then it would have never worked out as well as it did."

"What? Why not?" asked James.

"Because the group consisted of Bellatrix, Snape, Malfoy, Rodolphus, and _Regulus_," I said.

"No way," said Lily.

"It's true," said Sirius.

"So it was lucky you went along then," said James to me.

"You got that right," I said and proceeded to tell them everything that had happened.

Lily looked anxious through the entire story, but said, "Well what's done is done and if it were anyone else they wouldn't have been able to pull it off, we should be off I'm tired."

"I'll be along in a minute love," said James and she apparated away.

James turned to me and said, "So you finally convinced Sirius to take you on the adventure that you've been craving."

I turned to Sirius," Been talking about me have you?"

Sirius shrugged with a smile.

I turned back to James, "Sorry for snapping at you earlier, I'm just a little frustrated that you two get to have all the fun and I'm missing out."

"No worries mate besides, I already knew of your little adventure tonight," he smiled.

"You did?" I asked and glanced at Sirius who nodded.

"Yep," said James, " Sirius ran it by me and I agreed with him you needed to get out and do something to help, but Lily didn't know so I had to act like I didn't know or else she would have been really mad and you both know how that is."

I laughed, "Thanks James."

"Well night you two," and he turned back to me and added, "This new look you got going on, very good."

I went to smack his shoulder, but he had already apparated away.

I turned to Sirius who was behind me laughing and smiled at him saying, "You two never change."

"Life would be boring of we did love," he said with a smile.

* * *

_A/N: Ok so I finally am updating. I have wanted to post this chapter for weeks now, but I have so much stuff to do and then this week I finally get a chance to post and you know what happens I get sick and don't feel like doing anything, but here it is I hoped you enjoyed it._


	17. July 31

**July 31

* * *

**

16 years past… 

Sirius was pacing the sitting room in front of me, Remus was sitting quietly on the couch next to me, and Peter was sitting in the corner looking lost which was quit usual for him.

We had all been sitting in Lily and James' back garden having lunch together on this warm summer afternoon in July when suddenly it was time for the baby to come. Not that anyone was all that surprised we had all been expecting the event to take place for days now.

At this time we were waiting anxiously downstairs as James, Lily, and several healers that James had summoned from St.Mungo's brought a new baby into this world in the room over our heads.

To ease the tension and nervousness that seemed to fill the room, "A baby!" I said to the anxious men around me with excitement, "things are really going to change around here with a baby around."

"I suppose Lily and James will be too busy training it to be hanging around with us all the time," said Peter.

"Don't be ridiculous Wormtail, a baby is not an _it_ and besides babies don't need training it's not a bloody dog," I smiled and looked at Sirius," No offence my dear Snuffles."

Remus let out a sound of disbelief and added, "I've met wolves better trained then out dear Padfoot."

Peter let out an enormous laugh, "Since when did you start going by _Snuffles_?"

"Since the neighbor lady wanted to know what the name of our pet dog was, Sirius here has been stealing the muggle newspaper from her door. Either he's too cheap to go buy his own or just too lazy to subscribe for himself," I said in a disapproving tone.

"I've told you its Order business to know what's going on with the muggles," explained Sirius.

More to distract us before we could argue Remus asked with a sneaky grin, "So does this mean we get to call you Snuffles as well?"

An appalled looking Sirius was about to respond when James rushed into the room with a huge grin on his face and stammered, "It's a boy, I have a son!"

Sirius and James immediately embraced and the rest of us rushed over to congratulate our joyful friend.

"Well do you all want to come up and see him?" asked James who wore the biggest grin that I had every seen on his face, even bigger then when he had led Gryffindor to win the quidditch championship.

Together we entered the bedroom were Lily lay holding a small bundle in her arms. Her red hair fell gracefully over her shoulders. The soft smile wore and the flush of pink across her cheeks made her look absolutely gorgeous. She looked up excitedly at us with glittering emerald green eyes and said, "Come over and meet Harry."

"Is that his name then, Harry?" asked Sirius.

"Harry James Potter," said James proudly.

"You want to hold him?" Lily asked Sirius.

Sirius nodded and Lily carefully handed the wrapped up baby to him. The moment that Sirius took baby Harry into his arms I knew that I was completely and totally in love with the man standing before me. If I had ever had any doubt about my love for him before all of that fully vanished as I saw the look of love and joy that filled his gray eyes as he looked upon that baby as though it were his own.

He looked up at me with a huge grin and said, "You want to come take a look love?"

I walked over and brushed away the blanket that had been shielding the baby from my sight. He had jet black hair just like James and then he blinked open his sleepy eyes and I noticed the piercing green, "Hello Harry," I said with a breathless smile.

* * *

_A/N: It has been forever and I am so sorry about that I never intend to wait this long before updating again. I wanted this chapter to be longer, but that just didn't happen. It just seems so perfect the way it is…I hope you love it as much as I do._


	18. Frustrations

**Frustrations **

* * *

15 years previous

The nerve of Sirius to think that I would stay locked up in our flat safely out of harms way like some kind of obedient house-elf. Well he should know better then that, I hang around him enough that his restlessness would eventually start to rub off. We all know that he is in no way obedient.

I was being rash and I knew it as I quickly walked down the alley to the pub Sirius had taken me the night that I wanted my big adventure.

Sirius said he had an Order meeting tonight, but I had a gut feeling that he would end up here when it was over. He never came directly home after the meetings. After the row that we had this morning I couldn't wait to see the shock on his face when he saw that I had left our flat to come here of all places.

It had all started with the murders of three muggles. According to Sirius' information it had involved his cousin and he was going to try to find her, though I didn't see what good that would do.

So there I was pushing the door to the dingy pub open to prove I am just as capable as everyone else. I walked in and took a good look around. My heart sunk there was not one person there of any significance, just a load of wannabes.

I walked up to the barman who had slimy black hair silently wondering why none of these villains seemed to use shampoo.

"I'll have a firewhisky," I said.

"Well look what we have here," came an icy voice if a woman behind me.

I turned to face Narcissa Malfoy. She smirked, "You should know better then to come here."

"Yes, but the thing is I'm looking for a good fight and I figured this was the best place for me to find one," I said in an unconcerned tone.

She began to reach into one of her the pockets for her wand, but I had my hand griped tightly around my own since I had entered the sinister place. I quickly summoned her wand to me without muttering a word catching her by surprise.

"Now I'm going to give you one chance to walk away safely," I said aware that the entire room was silent with people listening to us.

She made an even uglier face then she usually wore and slapped me.

I let out a laugh quite unlike my own and said, "Are we going to fight like muggles then? I'm sure that will make your dear husband proud."

"Give me back my wand!" she screeched

"So you can curse me? I don't think so," I replied.

She grabbed at her wand which I quickly moved out of her reach. She resorted to striking me across the face once more with her pale skeletal hand.

"You know that's getting a bit annoying," I said and began to raise my fist, but someone caught my arm as soon as I began to swing my fist toward the face of the women in front of me.

I turned to find the enraged face of Sirius. For a moment we both just stared at each other both of our faces full with an equal amount of anger.

"Let go of me Black!" I said yanking my arm out of his grip. I then threw down Narcissas wand and apparated away.

Five minutes after I had arrived at our flat he was there yelling, "WHAT THE BLOODY HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!"

"ME? YOU HAVE SOME NERVE TELLING ME TO STAY HOME LIKE A GOOD GIRL," I screamed in return.

He quickly walked towards me so that I backed against the wall. He was now inches from me I could feel his heated breath on my face as he said, "Maybe you should take my advice for once."

"MAYBE YOU SHOULD-" I stuttered, "You should-"

"At a loss for words?" he questioned.

"NO!!!"I shouted.

"Oh, but-"I cut him off by reaching up and pulling his face towards mine, covering his mouth with mine. I couldn't help myself. I knew we were both being stupid. We were both frustrated with the constant battle against Voldemort that we tended to take that frustration out on each other.

We spent that night forgetting about everything else taking place in the world. It was something we both needed, to worry about us and only us for a short while.

* * *

_A/N: I've had this chapter written for a few months but my computer died and well you know how that goes. Anyway I was really hoping to have this story done before book 7 came out, but it looks like that isn't going to happen since it comes out on FRIDAY! What are we going to do once it is all over! Well I guess one thing is read my story…haha jk. I have the next two chapters written so I hope I will be able to put them up soon…Thanks for reading!_


	19. Autumn

**Autumn**

* * *

Just when you think things can't get any worse they do. These days almost no one leaves their homes except for desperate occasions.

I was sitting in our flat watching the wind rustle the orange leaves of the trees below wishing that I could be out there. Autumn was my favorite time of year and I would have liked nothing more then to be sitting with Sirius in the park with our jackets on and enjoying each other's company. But Sirius wasn't here. He was out again and even he looked weary every time he left the flat.

I must have sat there for several hours lost in my own thoughts. I soon drifted off to sleep with my head resting on the cool glass of the window. I awoke with a start when a warm hand was placed on my shoulder, "Oh! Hello love," I said once I realized it was Sirius.

It was now dark, "Bloody hell what time is it?" I asked while rubbing my eyes.

"Nearly nine," he smiled.

"What are you so happy about?" I asked with a frown and a tilt of my head.

"We Baptized Harry today and I'm his godfather!" he said with excitement all over his face.

"Baptized Harry? Oh, I wish I could have been there," I sighed with disappointment.

"It was a rushed sort of thing, Lily and James said that it needed to be done before they go into hiding," explained Sirius sitting down next to me.

I sighed, "You ever wonder what it's like to live a normal life with no evil wizards, rushed baptisms, and hiding to protect those you love."

"Everyday," he whispered. I wrapped my arms around him and buried my head in the crook of his neck and said, "I love you so much."

"What is all of this about?" he asked with a sounding pleased.

"I just don't think I tell you nearly enough."

"Well in that case, I love you more than you can ever imagine, but are you sure everything is alright?" he asked.

"Yes I'm sure, I just wanted to make sure you know that I love you," I said.

"Yes I know, I've known it longer than you yourself have remember?" he asked with a smirk.

I grimaced, "If course I remember. I suppose you will never forget it though."

"Not a chance love," he smiled and planted a kiss on my cheek.

He then stood up and pulled me to my feet saying with a yawn, "Let's get to bed I'm exhausted."

* * *

A/N: Okay I thought we could all use a little chapter that was short a sweet because the next chapter isn't going to be a bunch of laughs so just be prepared. My apologies for the wait, but it seems that time is always working against me, but enough of that… 

quidditch7: You're reviews are a constant motivation for me to put up the next chapter…many thanks.

deathlyhallows7: thank you for reading my story it means a lot… and don't worry you didn't miss anything I never do mention my narrator's name because I want my readers to be able to picture her to be whoever they want her to be so basically it's up to you.

PS-if anyone is looking for a book to read to help with the end of Harry Potter I recommend the Twilight series by Stephenie Meyer. My newest obsession.


	20. We’ll Always Remember

**We'll Always Remember**

* * *

The next morning I was reaching around in the bed trying to find Sirius. With a groan of frustration I soon realized he was gone. He had probably been gone for hours doing whatever it was he needed to do for the sodding Order these days, I had given up asking.

I was staring up at the ceiling trying to figure out what to do with my day. I was very low on options considering I had finally lost my battle with Sirius on the matter of me going out of the flat without the "proper protection" or in other words either him or James.

I knew that it was the best for my safety, but I was bored. A person can only stay inside for so long before they start to go mad. I got out of bed taking my time picking out some clothes and taking a shower. I made myself eggs and toast for breakfast. In the end I decided to catch up on some books that Lily had given me a while back. According to her they were "quite interesting." So I immersed myself into the world of fiction because it was better than thinking about the reality that our world was currently living.

It should have been easy to slip into the pages of the book, but I found myself distracted by everything. Outside I could hear the cars passing by, the person in the flat above walking, and the dripping of the faucet. I even tried to read a different book, but it was no good. I just couldn't concentrate.

Days went by before I finally figured out the problem and once I did Sirius definitely noticed something was up. He had just finished telling me that the Fidelius Charm had been cast and was working brilliantly for Lily and James. My response was delayed when he got to the part about us going into hiding within the next few weeks.

"Let's hear it," he said.

"Hear what?" I asked hesitantly.

"Why you've been so distracted for the past week," he pointed out.

I hadn't realized that I had been so obvious or maybe he just knew me too well, but I still tried to argue, "I have not!"

"Really?" he said with a mock look of surprise, "Why is it you have not argued once when I said that I wouldn't be home until after midnight?"

"Becau-" he cut me off "And why is it when I told you the Dumbledore himself offered to be Lily and James' secret keeper you weren't impressed? And that James can't come visit because Dumbledore has his cloak?"

I sighed, "I'm sorry, I guess you're right," and then to try to get him off the subject of me I added, "So obviously you're not their secret keeper."

He gasped with surprise, "What?"

"Well it would be a bit obvious seeing as anyone who knows anything would assume that it would be you and I know that you lot are not stupid and would want to at least try to make it difficult for Voldemort," I explained.

He remained quiet so I went on, "Who is it then? Seeing as we aren't trusting Remus, though, I personally think he would never go over to that side, but that would only leave Peter. I know even you aren't that stup-" I cut off "You didn't let them use Peter did you?"

"I can't tell you this!" He growled angrily.

"You did use him," I stated with wide eyes, "Are you sure that was wise Sirius? I mean _Peter_."

"He would never betray any one of us including you!" he said harshly.

"As long as you're sure, but the bloke does turn into a rat," I said.

"We are." His final tone meant that the conversation was over.

Another week went by and Sirius was more stressed out than I had ever seen him. He missed his best friends and I couldn't blame him, I missed Lily and James just as much. Finally the night came for me to tell him. I could no longer keep it to myself, I needed him to know. I got all dressed up in his favorite colour of scarlet with my favorite pair of silver pumps.

I was standing by the window when I heard Sirius entering the flat. A bolt of excitement shot through me and I ran up to him jumping into his arms, "Put on your best clothes, we're going out," I whispered into his ear.

He held me away from him and shook his head, "I'm sorry love we can't."

"What do you mean we can't" I asked feeling hurt, moisture was beginning to fill my eyes.

"I heard some funny things while I was out," he said grimly.

"What do you mean funny things?" I asked.

"He looked doubtful that he should tell me, but he said, "I have to go check on Peter."

I frowned, "Peter? Why?"

"Listen Remus is supposed to be stopping by to speak with me, tell him nothing," he said grimly.

"Sirius what is wrong?" I firmly demanded.

"The less you know, the safer it is," he sighed running his hand through his hair.

"No…I am so sick of you telling me to stay in, less is better; I can handle just as much as you! I deserve to know what is going on Sirius!" I shouted enraged by the whole situation.

"I know that you can handle just as much as I can, but what I couldn't handle is if something were to happen to you," he said.

The tears finally began to pour down my face, "I know Sirius and I'm sorry I'm being so difficult…tonight was…it was supposed to be special, I wanted to surprise you and know…" I trailed off.

Concern was all over his face, "What is it?" he asked.

"I just wanted it to be special you know, one of those things we'll always remember," I explained.

He reached out and touched my cheek, wiping away a tear with the pad of his thumb.

In that moment I knew I had to tell him. He couldn't leave without knowing, I had a bad feeling about it all, "Sirius," I whispered.

"Yes love?" he asked.

"I'm…I'm pregnant."

It took a moment, but when he realized what I had said his face lit up with joy and he let out his bark like laugh, "This is brilliant."

"Now I have something to ask you?" he said with a frown.

"What?" I asked somewhat apprehensively.

He reached into his pocket. He held something in his hand, but I couldn't see what it was.

"I love you," he said.

"Yes I know, I love you too," I said quizzically.

"Will you marry me?" he asked and opened his hand to reveal a diamond ring.

I put my hands over my mouth and gasped, "Yes!" and then threw my arms around him.

The moment ended all too soon. He slowly pulled my face up to his softly pressing his lips to mine and then he whispered, "I'll be back soon."

He then slipped the ring onto my finger and turned his back walking away from me. He was gone all too soon.

I sat down on the couch waiting, there was nothing else do. An hour went by and then two with no sign of Remus.

I woke up to a loud pounding on the door to our flat and muffled shouts of someone wanting me to open up. Realizing that I had fallen asleep on the couch and it was now late morning I yelled, "Hold on for fuck sake I'm coming!"

I opened the door to find Remus in a right state of hysterics which struck me as odd because he was the one that was usually so calm and rational.

He pushed his way past me and I shut the door. Turning to look at him I know realized that he looked stranger then I had ever seen him, his hair was flying everywhere, his robes torn, and he wore an expression of someone who was going to be ill.

"What is wrong?" I asked.

"Have you seen any of the papers?" he asked.

"No, I've been asleep I stayed up most of the night waiting for you!" My blood had gone cold, something was dreadfully wrong. Remus was here in a state of hysteria and Sirius still wasn't.

He held out the latest edition of the Daily Prophet with the headline "THE DARK LORD'S DOWNFALL COMES AT LAST! LILY & JAMES DEAD…HARRY SURVIVES!"

I sank to my knees whispering, "It can't…no."

Remus knelt down in front of me a single tear escaping from his eye, he grimly whispered, "There's more."

I reached out and took a second paper from his hand, "SIRIUS BLACK KILLS HEROIC PETER PETTIGREW & BLOWS UP MUGGLES IN ATTEMPT TO AVENGE HIS FALLEN MASTER!"

I turned away and became physically sick. How could all of this be happening?


	21. No More Magic

**No More Magic

* * *

**

It was a cool grey November morning. I stood alone feeling the anger, confusion, and sorrow seeping through every inch of my body. The Hogwarts grounds were deserted except for me standing under the old beech tree near the edge of the lake. The spot held so many memories. I could feel my heart throb with the pain that had been brought down upon me over the past week. It had been a lonely week, a week that felt like years. It was the darkest week I had ever experienced.

I had just been to see Dumbledore to yell at him, to plead, but he couldn't do anything to help Sirius' case. Not that I had expected him to, but he was my last hope and now that hope had vanished like so many other parts of my life.

I didn't know if it was just my mindset, but the castle seemed different. It was gloomy as if it too were in mourning. Maybe it was because I was so used to seeing Hogwarts as a symbol of my happiness filled with those I cared about most in the world and now they were gone taking with them some of the magic that had once filled the hallways and washed over the grounds.

Behind me came the clearing of someone's throat. I sighed and slowly turned to face Remus. He looked as though this past week had aged him years. His hair had lost the little shine that it had previously, his eyes were full of sorrow, and the look he wore was that of someone who had seen many horrors.

I didn't speak; I wouldn't be the one to speak first.

"I told you it was no good," he finally said.

I only glared at him.

"I know you're mad, but I have a feeling you're not telling me something, something you know about this situation. The reason you are so convinced of his innocence," he said.

"That doesn't matter it should be enough for you that I'm convinced. I have my theories Remus, but they are nothing without the proof to show his innocence, but you Remus as a friend, I would have thought that my word would be enough."

"I'm sorry, but you have to understand with all that has taken place I find everything hard to believe," he said in a pained voice.

I sighed, "I'm sorry about that, so I guess this is good-bye."

"Good-bye? What? Why do you say that?" he asked looking hurt.

"Remus, I'm pregnant," I said.

His eyes went wide, "With Sirius'…" he trailed off.

I gave a grim smile, "Yes."

"But why is this good-bye?" he asked confused.

"Because I'm leaving, I refuse to raise mine and Sirius' baby in a country full of corruption. Maybe if we are somewhere else then our baby won't have to be tormented by those stupid enough to believe that Sirius is guilty." I ended knowing full well that Remus was one of those people.

"I…"he began, but cut off.

"Save it Remus," I said and turned my back on him to stare at the icy black waters of the lake.

"You can't just leave," he said.

"I can and I am, good-bye Remus," I said with finality still not facing him. I couldn't stand to look at the pain in his eyes knowing full well that mine held the exact same pain if not more.

"If there's anything I can do anything at all, you just let me know alright…anytime."

It was quiet for a few moments and then he sighed and I knew he had walked away. A solitary tear fell across my face. I turned knowing this was it. Good-bye to Hogwarts. I was leaving everything I knew, that was familiar to me until the day Sirius and I were once again reunited. The grounds showed no signs of life except for a trail of footprints Remus had left behind in the frost on the ground and soon they too would be gone just like those I had cherished most.

* * *

_A/N: Hope you enjoyed it! _


	22. Atlases

Two years previous

Two men sat across from each other each with his own bottle of firewhiskey. So far both had drank only enough to fill their bodies with a slight warmth and carelessness.

"Remus," the taller and handsomer of the two men said.

"Yes, Sirius?" said the tired man sitting across the table from him.

"There's something I've been meaning to ask you about-" he cut off unable to speak the name. A large lump formed in his throat. This happened nearly every time he thought of speaking of her. The hole in his chest was always there, but the lump in his throat formed whenever he went to utter her name.

Remus let out a large sigh and took a large swing from the bottle in front of him. He took his time setting the bottle down before looking at his friend. He had waited days for this subject to finally come up. It was inevitable that it would, but it had to be when Sirius was ready. His friend had been run on for months, had just reconciled with Harry and was on the way out of the country after the narrow escape he had made from a fate worse than death.

He watched his friend struggle and at last blurt out, "Where is she?"

"Who?" Remus said, knowing exactly who, but his friend needed to say her name. In truth it hurt Remus pretty bad to think of her too. He missed his friend's wit and contagious smile. She was also the only girl that was ever meant to be with Sirius.

Sirius' face darkened, "You know exactly who."

Remus sighed, "Yes, I do."

Sirius glared at him waiting for him to answer.

"The truth is I don't know," said Remus.

"What do you mean you don't know? How can you not know?" Sirius growled.

"I mean when she left Sirius, you have to understand what it was like. She was absolutely shattered. She was on the verge of getting a cell next to you in Azkaban the way she was confronting ministry officials trying to plead your case. You weren't the only one I had thought unhinged with the deaths of Lily and James. In our own ways we each did and with your arrest she on a rampage," Remus remembered wearily.

At this Sirius smirked, "She always had fire."

Remus nodded they had all seen that fire on numerous occasions and continued, "No one was having any of it and Dumbledore told her without proof nothing could be done. Not even I could be persuaded and I will always carry the burden of that."

Sirius went to cut in, but Remus waived him off, "We were at Hogwarts when she told me she was leaving. She said, ' I refuse to raise mine and Sirius' baby in a country full of corruption.' She thought if she were someplace else then your baby wouldn't have to be tormented by those stupid enough to believe that you were guilty. So that was it the last time I ever saw of her. I told her I was here if she ever need me and I sent an owl every year on the anniversary, but I never received a reply. I don't know if she ever got them, but if she did she wants nothing to do with me and I can't blame her for that. I should have listened and help her try to clear your name."

Sirius sighed.

After watching him for a long while Remus asked, "What will you do?"

"I'll leave at dark and once I'm safely out of the country I'm going to find her," he said with absolute sureness.

"Where will you look?" asked Remus.

"I'm not certain, but I have a fairly good idea," said Sirius more to himself and Remus knew that was all he was going to get from his old friend.

As Sirius flew through the night sky on Buckbeak he couldn't help but remember the night so long ago when soared across the night sky on his brand new motorcycle. He had been so happy that night with the love of his life holding on to him tight. He could hear her laughter in his ear even over the roaring of the bike. It was a laugh that filled him with energy and could make him forget even the worst of his problems. It had been so long since he had heard her laugh, but he was going to find her. He had too because not finding her was not an option. He needed her and he hoped that she still needed him.

* * *

A girl around 13-years-old sat on a bench watching the waves crash onto the beach. Her long black hair that went down to her waist blew in breeze coming off the ocean on that warm summer afternoon. She then reached into the book bag sitting next to her and pulled out a newspaper. Her gray eyes scanned the_ Daily Prophet _in front of her. Her mother had gotten that far off look on her face when she had read it like she did on so many occasions when she thought about her old life.

At last the girl found the article that must have been the source of her mother's distance that morning. It was a small article read "With Sirius Black still at large many are beginning to question the Ministry's competency."

The girl smirked of course the Ministry were incompetent and anyone who didn't realize it was an idiot. She then folded the paper and placed it back in her bag letting out a large sigh. She had grown up knowing that the Ministry was the reason for everything that was wrong in her life and too many people believed in them without question.

A large black dog sat in the bushes only 12 feet away from the girl. He was looking out at the ocean and knew that he had found it. The exact image that he had seen in a book so many years ago at the beginning of his last year at Hogwarts.

* * *

Sirius sat across from the love of his life in the library watching her cross out another word in her Transfiguration essay. She sighed and looked up at him asking, "Can we just forget seventh year and go on adventure?"

Sirius let out his bark of a laugh, " An adventure? What kind of adventure to you want my love?"

"I don't know lets just randomly pick a place and go," she said.

"Alright, how should we randomly select this place?" Sirius smiled.

She paused for a second and said, "Follow me."

Sirius followed her as she crossed the library stopping at a section labeled "Atlases."

She was about to reach for one when Sirius said, "Stop."

She looked at him questioningly and he walked over to her placing his hand over her eyes and said, "Now pick one."

Reaching above her head as far as she could reach she took a heavy blue covered book with gold writing, "Now," Sirius whispered with his hand still over her eyes, "flip to a page."

Sirius removed his hand and they both stared down at an image of a tropical beach. The water was the clearest of blues and the sand was pure white. She looked up at him with sparkling eyes and whispered, "Lets go."

He smiled, "McGonagall would kill you if you didn't turn in that essay."

She sighed, "I guess we should finish this year after all we did come this far."

"After graduation we'll go to this exact spot and lose track of time," Sirius whispered.

"Promise?" she said.

"Of course," and she responded with a deep kiss which only ended when Madame Pince chased them away.

* * *

But this was the first time that Sirius was seeing this beach because of the darkness that forever changed their world. They could have left, but they had put duty before themselves. They might have been happy for a while if they had gone, but leaving others behind to fight would have been cowardly and they would have still felt miserable. It all came back to Voldemort he had destroyed so much of what could have been not only for Sirius and his love, but his friends and countless strangers.

The large black dog turned his head to take in more of his surroundings and froze. Sirius Black had lived through a lot of shocking events in his lifetime, but none compared to this moment. The girl he had just spotted was the most breathtaking sight of his entire life. Her long dark hair, the face of the only woman he had ever loved, even as she sat there the same haughty mannerisms that so many of the Black family members possessed.

Of course Sirius had considered the possibility of his baby being with his love once he found her, but it was so hard for him to imagine. The night everything came crashing down she had told him, but now to see the baby he had never known sitting only feet from him nearly grown hit him harder than he could have ever expected. He had never even consider the possibility that he would simply stumble into her her here. She was so beautiful and she was his.

Sirius had no idea what to do. So many questions were racing through his head. Should he approach her? Did she know about him? She wouldn't possible recognize him in his animagus state, would she? He didn't even know her name. He had no doubt that she was his, but he didn't even know her name. Would she be frightened of him?

As he sat struggling with his eternal debate it was as if he had called out to her she turned and looked him square in the eye with her grey eyes. His grey eyes.


End file.
